Swallow You Whole

Book Review of Swallow You Whole, by Jasper Black

Swallow You Whole

I won a signed copy of Swallow You Whole, by Jasper Black, from Goodreads.

Description:
For two villainous nobles, it is a desperate means to an end. For two clever demons…it is one hell of a tax break. 

Henry and James have accidentally staked claim on the same soul. Elliot Dosett, the bitter and sickly son of a successful steel magnate, summoned a demon in hopes of solving his trouble with his father and inheriting the estate. Violet Clifton, his aunt, also summoned a demon in order to rid herself of a useless husband and take over the business he leaves behind. In order to delay her own death, she also signs away Elliot’s soul. And so the paperwork begins to fly.

Lady is a fallen angel. He is also one of Hell’s top auditors. He is sent to monitor the activity of Henry and James. Once he finds out which demon is trying to cheat Hell, his job is to send them back in chains.

Henry will do anything to avoid being reported, dragging James and Lady down the path of a capricious scheme. Yet Satan is hot on their heels and will stop at nothing to hunt them all down; even if that means interrupting God’s latest round of golf.

Review:
A point of clarification on the front end, I would not consider this a romance. Maybe I’m the only one who mistakenly thought it would be, but I don’t think it is. Whatever it is, horror-slash-humor maybe, I quite enjoyed.

I liked both James and Henry. I thought God, Satan and the other angels/sins that show up were well characterized. Violet and Elliot, the peevish, evil humans, were suitably evil. There were a few unexpected turns. The author stuck with the inevitable ending, which pleased me and there were quite a few ironic, funny moments.

I did find the fact that the celestial realms seemed to run on a different time than earth jarring and anachronistic. I understand it was purposeful, but it still pulled me out of the story. Lastly, I think it could have done with another editing pass. But the truth is I’d almost forgive it this for the awesome cover.


What I’m drinking: What the English might call Builder’s tea. One inexpensive bag of black tea, quite strong and a dash of milk. This is one of my comfort drinks. These days, I’m often off dairy. So, I don’t drink it as often. But for pure, melt into the couch relaxation, it’s my go-to drink.

A mystery!

Today, I have a bit of a mystery. My aunt-in-law is visiting from England and she wanted to buy a second-hand suitcase for her return trip, something she could use to pack the things she bought here but wouldn’t spend enough on to feel bad about trashing once she got home. So, we found ourselves at Savers, where she found a fabulous mid-century suitcase that I personally think she should keep for all eternity and I picked up a stack of Alexis Morgan paperbacks. Alexis Morgan paperbacksThe first one to catch my attention was Dark Defender, because the Arch on the cover suggested it’s set in Saint Louis, where I happen to live. I still wasn’t paying a lot of attention yet, just browsing and thinking, “Oh something set in my own city could be cool.” Then, I found another and another. And they all had stickers declaring them autographed, which finally excited me. I love signed books.  I’d found four autographed books. Score!

Here’s where the mystery comes in. They’re all signed, “To Mom and Dad.”

I stood there in the book isle, staring at this and trying to think of a way these books (and probably more that I didn’t find, since they are scattered in two different series and I suspect ‘Mom and Dad’ had one of everything) ended up at the charity shop that didn’t originate in tragedy of some sort. Did they die and someone uncaringly or unknowingly clear the books away? Did Ms. Morgan do it herself? Was there a falling out between her and the parents? Did they just not care? Did she die and they couldn’t face her books?

Now, I don’t want to make light of what might be a bad time for someone (or not, could be totally prosaic), but once this thought patter set in I couldn’t put them back. I felt like they’d already been dishonored in some fashion and to put them back would be to compound the injury.

Ok, yes, I know that’s ridiculous, but when I’m paying $1.99 a book I can afford to be sentimental about them. I’m just hoping they turn out to be good. Anyone else get this way about random things?

Review of Hex Hall, by Rachel Hawkins

Hex Hall

I picked up a copy of Rachel HawkinsHex Hall somewhere along the way, probably Goodwill or a similar place. I was on a YA kick, at the time. But I’ve hence given that up. So, it and several like it, have just been taking up space on my book shelves.

Description from Goodreads:
Three years ago, Sophie Mercer discovered that she was a witch. It’s gotten her into a few scrapes. Her non-gifted mother has been as supportive as possible, consulting Sophie’s estranged father—an elusive European warlock—only when necessary. But when Sophie attracts too much human attention for a prom-night spell gone horribly wrong, it’s her dad who decides her punishment: exile to Hex Hall, an isolated reform school for wayward Prodigium, a.k.a. witches, faeries, and shapeshifters. 

By the end of her first day among fellow freak-teens, Sophie has quite a scorecard: three powerful enemies who look like supermodels, a futile crush on a gorgeous warlock, a creepy tag-along ghost, and a new roommate who happens to be the most hated person and only vampire student on campus. Worse, Sophie soon learns that a mysterious predator has been attacking students, and her only friend is the number-one suspect. 

As a series of blood-curdling mysteries starts to converge, Sophie prepares for the biggest threat of all: an ancient secret society determined to destroy all Prodigium, especially her.

Review:
This is pretty standard YA fare—young girl who thinks herself average or below turns out to actually be extraordinary. Meanwhile, she catches the eye of the school hoty and makes enemies of the school’s clique of queen bees. There were no surprises or depth here. The most tension-laden scenes revolved around the creation of a dress for the school ball, while the villain was discovered, found and confronted in less than two pages, defeated in less than a paragraph. There are also some things that really needed to be address further, in my opinion, that characters jut let slide. But it was well written and I found it pleasantly amusing.

I do have to ask about the cat on the cover though. No one in the book has one. In fact, the main character is allergic to them. So, why is the cat on not only this cover, but every one in the series? Just to symbolize witches? But these witches would have found that so cliché. Covers that don’t match the story annoy me.


What I’m drinking: What the English might call Builder’s tea. One inexpensive bag of black tea, quite strong and a dash of milk. This is one of my comfort drinks. These days, I’m often off dairy. So, I don’t drink it as often, but my British relatives are currently visiting. There is lots of tea and milk in this house right now.