Category Archives: personal

A Month In Pictures

I found a fun thing today that I thought I’d try. Scrolling Twitter, I came across a post by Nell Iris in which she chronicled her month in 10 pictures. And I loved the idea.

It made me realize that I don’t put a lot of my life, outside of books, here on the blog, and made me wonder what I’d find if I looked back through a month of my own pictures. Like most people, my phone is full of candid shots I snap throughout the day. None of them were taken with an eye to publishing. (I didn’t even have the idea of this post yet.) But, seeing them might say a bit about me. So, here it goes.

What I found, unsurprisingly, was lots and lots of book pictures. I’m just gonna skip those. If you want to see them glance to the right or hop on over to either of my Instagram pages (@See_Sadie_Read or @Sadiesspotlight) they’ll all be there. Outside books, it was a month of cakes, nature, and dogs. And who can complain about that, really?

The month started with a picture of my almost finished new kitchen. I could rant frustratedly for an hour here, but I’ll hold myself back. Let’s just leave it at the project took significantly longer than projected and was full of complications. The last of which is that we can’t find anyone without a 3-4 MONTH wait to finish the plaster and paint! And please don’t even ask why the plaster wasn’t done before the cabinets went in. But the kitchen is complete otherwise. And we love our crazy blue countertops.

I took this picture April 9th, to send to my sister who lives out of state and therefore can’t just come over and see it.

We then spent the weekend out in woods. We have access to ~26 acres outside the city where we can go hike and bask in nature for a little while.

These pictures are taken in pretty close to the same spot, one facing north and the other south-ish. I’ve taken a picture over the bluff (toward Pelican Island Nature Preserve) pretty much every weekend for months. It’s amazing how much it changes from week to week. The whole forest, actually, not just the island.

On the 16th I did something really exciting. I got my first Covid Vaccine shot. I was initially scheduled for the Johnson & Johnson single shot. But they ended up canceling the appointment and I rescheduled for the Moderna. So, I’m halfway there, folks.

And look, you even get a rare picture of me. I’d make excuses for my unfixed hair and lack of makeup. But I don’t wear makeup or do my hair (beyond a brush) normally. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve had hair that wasn’t in a pixie style in years. And only because it’s a covid-do. I’ve not been for a haircut since before quarantine started. So, this is me on any regular day.

We then spent the weekend out in the woods again, where the dogs (Motoko and Batou) were exceptionally cute. I got some great snaps of them and my husband. But I’ve cropped him out, since he wouldn’t appreciate being splashed on the internet. He’s shy that way. And you can also see, as always, there are books about, even in the woods.

I was also interested to see all the different kinds of wild flowers starting to peak out. I photographed some of them with the intent to google and see what they are. (Not good at identifying flowers, me.) But I never actually got around to it. Anyone have any ideas?

And then I ended the month with two unrelated cake encounters. My mother-in-law frequently sends boxes of treats to my children. It’s a thing. Included this last time was a Swizzels Parma Violets Cupcake Kit. This is not really something I want in my cupboard, but oh well. Eventually, I decided the solution was just to make the darned thing and then it would be gone. And since I have a friend who is getting back into cake decorating, and I’d just been talking to her about it, I decided to try my hand at actually decorating them, instead of just slabbing the icing on. The results were OK for a newbie, I think.

But I got really lucky a few days later when the same friend who’d prompted me to try my hand at decorating gave me a cake she’d decorated. You seeeeeee, one has to decorate a cake to practice. But one doesn’t actually need to be eating all the cakes they practice on. Lucky me!

Her cake is admittedly better than mine. But then, she’s not a beginner either. And it tasted good too. No cake mixes in her cabinets. Again, lucky us!

So that’s all folks. That’s my month of April in 14 pictures. I had fun with it. I think I’ll do it again next month. I’d like to say I’ll make it a monthly thing. But, honestly, I’m not good about sticking to such commitments. So, instead I’ll say, it’s going to be my goal to do a month in pictures at the end of each month. What do you think?

Taking A Moment To Check Myself

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A few moments ago I received a message on Goodreads that started out:

I’ve been thinking about messaging you and asking you to check out my book for a few days, but I was quite nervous considering how critical and honest your reviews are. Then, I told myself that I might as well and that every review I read from you had a pretty good and constructive critique, so at least I might learn what to make better next time. The harsh feedback is always what I learn the best from. (Though obviously, I’d still like to think that you would enjoy the book, lol)

And I suppose I could gripe about getting hit up on Goodreads for a review, instead of the request coming through the the process I’ve set up here on the blog. (No, I’ll never pass up an opportunity to point out how many people don’t follow directions, in the hopes of correcting the trend.) But I almost feel like this wasn’t a formal enough request to warrant it. Or maybe I’m just so distracted by something else in it that I can’t be bothered.

The thing that most struck me about this message is the author saying she “was quite nervous considering how critical and honest your reviews are…The harsh feedback…*” Yes, the comment is couched in compliments, but it still really made me stop and think. (For the record, I’m not calling the author in question out in any manner. She neither insulted nor upset me; just caused me to consider her word choice, never a bad thing.)

One would think being honest could never be a unappreciated. But anyone who truly believes that hasn’t spent much time in the book reviewing community while we endlessly debate what should and shouldn’t be included in a review. A large contingent lives by “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.”

And critique has it’s place, of course, even harsh critique. But the phrasing, the admittal of nervousness to ask me to review their work is awful close to implying that my reviews come across as overtly critical, as in primarily focusing on the negative. Is this how I come across, I wondered.

I’ve been writing reviews here on the blog, Goodreads, and Amazon for 7+ years. And it’s an unfortunate reality that familiarity breeds contempt. I don’t mean this to suggest I find books, authors, or reviews/reviewers contemptible⍣. But rather, it would be quite easy to have let myself slip into a mental space in which I throw out reviews easily, without giving enough gravity to how they might be received.

Yes, there are all sorts of caveats here. Reviews are for readers, not authors. I’m not obligated to be polite when saying I dislike something. I’m 100% not required to keep my trap shut if I dislike something. I am allowed to be as rude, churlish, and bitchy as I like, etc. etc. etc. But the reality is that that’s not the real me. I am generally one of those people that want their say (will insist on it), but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

And the comment above makes me wonder if I’ve let myself be a little too laissez faire lately and come across as an angry harridan with nothing positive to say, instead of a considered reviewer that also happens to be honest when she dislikes a book. That’s not the same thing and not the reviewer I want to be. I don’t want authors to be afraid of me or my words.

I hope that isn’t giving myself too much importance. One person being nervous, does not a tyrant make. But this was a good reminder to be mindful of my general mien, not just each individual review. A reviewer can be judged by the whole of their work as easily as any individual piece of it.

So far this year, I’m averaging just about an even 3★ rating, which makes sense. I feel like that’s how it should be. Most books I neither love nor hate, and I would hope for a roughly even number of books I do. But if I stop and think of some of the reviews I’ve written recently, I can think of some that I probably could have been more diplomatic in my phrasing. The question is, should I have been? Or does honest vitriol have a place too? Where is the line that allows for that without tripping the reviewer over into bitch territory?

I’d like authors to know they’ll get an honest review from me, but also trust that I won’t be needlessly cruel if their book and I don’t get along. I’ll probably never be bubbly enough, as a person, to be seen as a softball reviewer (and I wouldn’t want to be). I just don’t think I have enough of the fan-girl in me. But I also don’t want to be the reviewer that everyone knows will trash their book for the sheer joy of it. That really isn’t who I am or why I do this. It’s not where my joy comes from!

So, I’m taking this opportunity to recenter, to step back and ensure that I am more thoughtful and considered in my words and reviews from here on out. Maybe it’s not needed and everything was fine to start with. But honestly, can trying being more considerate ever put you in bad stead? (Can you be in bad stead, or only good…hmmm?)

And yes, in case you’re curious, I agreed to read the book in question above and I hope with my whole heart to love it.

*On a complete side note, it’s been my anecdotal experience that this is one of the primary differences between male and female authors seeking reviews. I 100% can’t imagine a male author preceding their review request with an admittal that they are nervous about it.

⍣OK, maybe there is a small, self-aggrandizing subset that I could do without.

Why I Review Books

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Before I get the list of reasons I write reviews of almost all the books I read let me give you a little background about why I decided to write this post today. I’ll also acknowledge up front that I’m well aware that the fact that, no matter how much I say I love authors, the fact that I I complain quite so regularly about the book requests I get makes me seem bitchy and extra sensitive. My only real excuse is that something might not bother you (or me) generally, but once you’ve encountered it the four thousandth time you get pretty persnickety about it. You’re welcome to just think I’m a bitch though.

So, this all came up today when I got a book review request. There wasn’t anything really horrifying about it except that it was thin on the particular details I’d use to decide if I actually want to read the book or not. I’m not going to quote it directly, I’m not trying to shame the author AT ALL. But the author basically only gave me the title, release date, blurb, an Amazon link, and the fact that it’s a “Fantasy story of approximately 43,000 words, set in medieval times.” And while that might seem like enough, I like a cover image and there was no mention of what format was being offered for review. I’m currently only open to physical books, and many books aren’t available in physical formats these days, so this needs to be explicitly stated. (This one, for example, has no physical edition listed on Amazon, so it likely doesn’t meet my stated policies.)

But more than that, what I discovered when I when I followed the Amazon link is that the book is book four in a series. So, I politely wrote the author back and declined the review request, stating that I wasn’t prepared to read a fourth book without having read the previous books, nor was I in a position to commit to reading four books (even short ones). More honestly, I’m not going to accept four books from an unknown author, who’s writing I might not like. Even more honestly, I’m gun-shy of male fantasy authors and I’m not going to accept four fantasy books, written by a man, that I might find no relatable female characters in. One I might chance, but not four.

The author wrote me back, saying “Just to let you know, the XXX are a loosely connected series. I have tried to make it so that you can read them out of order without it being an issue. That said, XXX is the first one in the series where it might be useful to the reader to know what happened in the previous book, XXX“.

And here is where this story becomes relevant to this post. I glanced up at my husband and said, “Why wasn’t all of that pertinent information in the first email? Why make me ask for it?” Of course, I had to then explain what I was talking about. And my husband reasonably responded by reminding me that I’d just recently written a whole post about a bad book review request and here I was raising an eyebrow at another one. Why keep my review requests open at all? I’m accepting very many. Why keep reviewing at all?

To be clear, this wasn’t a bad request on the magnitude of the one I wrote about last week. It was just one that probably didn’t really fit my stated preferences (again, no physical format apparently available) and lacking important information. But the Marital Unit’s question got me thinking, both about why I keep my request queue open and why I review at all. Then I went and took a shower, which meant I had 15 uninterrupted minutes to think on my answer.

So, I decided to work it out on paper (or the blog) while I drink one more cup of tea, before going downstairs to listen to an audio book and fold about four hundred loads of clean laundry.

The first question can be answered easily. I keep my review requests open because I know authors have a numerical dependency on reviews. Good or bad they need numbers, they need reviews. But it’s also extremely hard to find reviewers for indie and self-published books. So, I enjoy the thought of being helpful in this particular regard.

It’s true that I’m not accepting very many these days. But that is largely because I’ve told myself I’m only going to accept physical copies of books I’m truly interested in. I’ve tried many different methods of accepting requests over the years and the end results always seems to be feast or famine. I’m either being flooded with irrelevant requests or lock it down so tight they trickle in (and still only a fraction of that trickle are truly meet my stated preferences and requirements). I’m fairly locked down right now.

The question of why I review in general is much more multi-layered, though perhaps not more complicated.

I write reviews because I enjoy it. I enjoy the distillation of my thought on a book and reading experience, and the sense of conclusion writing a review gives that reading experience. It’s wholly about me. I enjoy it.
I write reviews because I am a bit of a list-maker and collector. I really like to see the number of books read and reviewed pile up. I love that end of year tally. It’s wholly about me. I enjoy it.
I write reviews because it creates a record that I can go back and reference if I’ve forgotten the details of a book (or if I’ve read the book at all). It’s wholly about me. I enjoy the help.
I write reviews because it enables me to compare reviews with my book-friends and prompts interesting book-discussions. It’s all about me. I enjoy it.
I write reviews because I know other readers find them helpful (reviews in general, not necessarily mine) and I like to be helpful. It’s mostly about me. I enjoy it.
I write reviews because I know authors need them and I like to help. It’s mostly about me. I enjoy it.

I do not, however, write reviews to help authors become better writers. I actually really hate this particular point in the ‘why you should review books’ debate. I don’t consider myself in a position to teach authors. I can often recognize flat out poor writing (which is usually due to a lack of editor, rather than an actual lack of skill) and I might call that out, but beyond that, I don’t consider helping authors be better authors in my wheelhouse. I like to be helpful, but I get to decide what I’m helpful about. And that doesn’t make the list.

I also don’t write reviews so that I can get free books. Lord knows I have no shortage of books already. A copy of a book is expected to facilitate my ability to read and review said book, but the receipt of a free book (especially an ebook) is in no way a reason for me to review.

I don’t write reviews to make myself look smart. I don’t write reviews to be purposefully cruel or bully authors. (I’ve been accused of this.) I don’t write reviews because I’m on an ego trip or have any axe to grind. I don’t write reviews to further any political, social, or personal agenda.

I write reviews because I enjoy writing them. That’s really what it comes down to. Everything else is bonus.

How about you; do you write reviews? If so, why? And if not, why not?