Tag Archives: Paranormal romance

Coveted

Book Review of Coveted, by Shawntelle Madison

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I picked up a signed copy of Coveted, by Shawntelle Madison in a second-hand shop.

Description from Goodreads:
For werewolf Natalya Stravinsky, the supernatural is nothing extraordinary. What does seem strange is that she’s stuck in her hometown of South Toms River, New Jersey, the outcast of her pack, selling antiques to finicky magical creatures. Restless and recovering from her split with gorgeous ex-boyfriend, Thorn, Nat finds comfort in an unusual place: her obsessively collected stash of holiday trinkets. But complications pile up faster than her ornaments when Thorn returns home—and the two discover that the spark between them remains intense.

Before Nat can sort out their relationship, she must face a more immediate and dangerous problem. Her pack is under attack from the savage Long Island werewolves—and Nat is their first target in a turf war. Toss in a handsome wizard vying for her affection, a therapy group for the anxious and enchanted, and the South Toms River pack leader ready to throw her to the wolves, and it’s enough to give anybody a panic attack. With the stakes as high as the full moon, Nat must summon all of her strength to save her pack and, ultimately, herself.

Review:
This was not very good. It was simply dull and inconsistent. One moment the narrator was going on about how Nat had no friends, the next her best friend was showing up on her doorstep. One moment she’s being treated like a pariah by her family, the next they’re there for her. (And visa versa, they flipped several times.) For the whole book Nat was completely spineless, super subservient and inferior to everyone, then she randomly whipped out the alpa attitude.

Then there was all the back and forwards with Thorn. The fact that he abandoned her five years earlier and basically ruined her life wasn’t ever addressed. This irritated me on two fronts. First that the loss of a man ruined her life and no one seemed to blame him for the dick move or give her time to grieve. (Instead they made her condition significantly worse by being inconsiderate and then further blamed her for the predictable results). Second he was never expected to apologize or even explain and she instantly forgave him. Worse, she’d been waiting for him for 5 years without word and didn’t seem to need to forgive him.

This forgiveness for men carried over in the whole book. Nat was thrown out of the pack and practically disowned by her family for not behaving just as they want (they called it being weak). But her brother was a womanizing ass, her father a killer, the alpha cruel, and her love was fickle and disloyal. Still, no one ever did anything by praise and support them.

I disliked the book. I can come up with a dozen reasons why, but the main one is that Nat was so weak, and whiny that I basically hated her. I thought her OCD was interesting, but that wasn’t enough to make me warm up to someone so willing to be a doormat and who shows NO GROWTH throughout the book.

Heart of the Hunter

Book Review of Heart of the Hunter (Dragon Chalice #1), by Lara Adrian

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I picked up a copy of Lara Adrian‘s (writing as Tina St. John) Heart of the Hunter from Amazon in November of 2012! Glad to see I got around to reading it in a timely manner. As it’s

Description from Goodreads:
Ariana of Clairmont would risk anything to save her kidnapped brother, a quest she knows is fraught with peril. Her only ally is Braedon le Chasseur, a formidable knight with a mysterious past, whose scarred face and brooding nature mask a soul filled with pain. Ariana fears this dangerous man and the secrets he strives to conceal—but Braedon’s touch is pure seduction, his kiss a potent lure that tempts her into a passion she is powerless to resist.

Once known as The Hunter, now haunted by a dark legacy he struggles to deny, Braedon lives in a world of shadow and isolation—until he is thrust together with an innocent beauty in need of his protection. Embarking on a journey that will lead them to a legendary treasure, Braedon will be forced to confront old enemies and the stunning secret of his true nature—or risk losing Ariana and the only happiness he has ever known. . . .

Review:
Ok look, I chose to read this by scrolling through my Kindle and going, “Oh, historical paranormal romance with dragons. Yes, please.” I didn’t look further than that. I didn’t notice I’d had the book since 2012 or that the first edition on Goodreads is from 2004. Because if I had, I wouldn’t have bothered with the book. I would have known in advance how much I’d dislike it.

As Suzanne Brockmann recently addressed in her RWA speech, the language of romance novels used to be a lot different, back when penis wasn’t allowed, etc. So you got a lot of ‘velvet covered steel” and “pearls of womanhood.”

And OH MY GOD, while I’m no fan of cunt, I’ll take it over “glove of her womb” a hundred times over! I am Modern Woman, hear me…panic over the fear of accidental pregnancy for my whole sexually active adulthood. Unless the point is implanting semen in said womb and impregnation, do not put the word womb in a sex scene. JUST DON’T, especially in a historical where prophylactics don’t exist anyhow. And it’s used over and over here, “glove of her womb,” “entrance of her womb,” just “her womb’ (which is even worse), “fist of her womb,” and of course, her climax floods her womb and her womb expands and contract with orgasm. OMG, stop!

There was nothing erotic in these sex scenes. And that’s before I address things like, ” He didn’t wait for her permission. In truth, he wasn’t sure he was asking for it…” or “”Tell me to let you go, Ariana. If you do not…ah, God, if you do not…” He had no will to wait for her denial.” Yeah, when it came to sex, he was all about doing what he wanted.

I’ll grant that Adrian at least provided a little foreplay, and the hero didn’t pound away like a jackhammer in a vagina that should be bone-dry for all he touched it. And the heroine had her own sexual agency. But sadly, I had trouble with that, too. The word innocent/innocence is used about a million times to describe her (especially in regard to being a virgin), as well as guileless, naive, naïveté, etc. Then, BAM, she’s giving head like a boss with no instruction. How exactly would such an ingénue, as she’s supposed to be, know anything a blow jobs? Tell me, how?

And then there was the fact that as soon as the hero decided to help and protect the heroine, all this started: “That’s right. From now on, I decide our course of action. ‘Tis the only way.” “…and do whatever I tell you. Understand?” “Don’t ever disobey me again, do you understand? If I tell you to do something, know that I have my reasons. I must be able to trust that you will do as I say, not question me or defy me.” (These are just a few examples.) And I’m all reading this book like, Dude, you are just some rando off the street. Who are you to take control of her like that? I don’t care if it is historical. You’re not her father, brother, or even her husband yet! Fuck off. But of course, she lets him make all the decisions and falls in love with him instead. Plus, any time she tried to do anything on her own, she went and did something stupid, like almost getting raped. (And it’s worth mentioning, just in case this dumpster fire isn’t obvious enough, she initially met him, and then he immediately saved her from being raped and sold into sexual slavery. Because, of course, he did. What else would happen to a woman out in the big, scary world of men? It’s certainly the only thing that ever seems to happen to them in books like this.)

For those like me who like historical paranormals, know that there are no dragons in this book and the paranormal aspects are almost nil. They certainly aren’t well integrated. So, as you might guess, I hated this book. This is the sort of book that kept me from reading heterosexual romances for so long. The industry has moved forward, things have gotten better. But this shit can go die.

Anointed

Book Review of Anointed (The Cantati Chronicles #1), by Maggie Mae Gallagher

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I found a signed copy of Maggie Mae Gallagher‘s Anointed at a secondhand store. We all know how I love signed books, so I bought it.

Description from Goodreads:
My name is Alana Devereaux. I enjoy the simple things in life, walks in the park, sky gazing, and ripping a demon’s heart out though its chest. I am a demon slayer, the last of my kind, and I have been sent back through time to save your world.

How am I doing so far? My time travel went haywire, all the signs I needed to stop the prophecy have passed, and the only way I can save my world is by keeping yours from ending. Then there’s Gaelen, most days I want to deck him. He hides his true motives and if it was not for the intel he had, I would be rid of him. Any day in my life without a demon attack is a good day; I haven’t had a whole lot of those lately. The only problem is, if I don’t stop the Mutari, this world will burn.

Review:
So, this was not very good. I won’t go so far as to say horrible, but not very good. It’s full of plot holes (and a pretty problematic paradox), both the heroine and hero are unlikable, assumptions are made and not supported, and there is no real conclusion.

It was not liking Alana or Gaelen that really clinched it for me. Her entire personality is contrary, angry, full of bluster, and distrust. I promise, authors, a female character can be touch without being so prickly as to be nothing but solid unpleasantness. He is abusive and possessive. Somehow these two horrible people fall in love with each other, though I never saw why or how…or really when. It just suddenly was.

Plus, I want my badass female characters to be badass. Alana was at best inconsistent. Taking on 60 demons one minute and not able to beat 6 men the next. She was constantly making threats she couldn’t or wouldn’t, certainly didn’t follow through with. She was constantly demanding information she was never given and she was constantly given orders she didn’t like, but followed. In the end, she felt like a child rebelling against a parent, but doing as told.

Then there was the author’s use of rape. It a much overused method authors use when they want to make sure readers know a man is really bad. Not just bad, but really bad. And they (the authors) prance out the rape threats. It’s so overdone as to be boring and totally infuriating. Rape should be so much more than a plot device!

Speaking of plot devices, there were far too many major coincidences. Alana developed abilities as needed and, at one point, when locked in a room (by someone who was going to rape her, but was conveniently interrupted by a knock at the door and had to leave) she found he’d dropped the key on the floor! Yes, the author went there.

So, I said it was bad, but not horrible. In writing this review, I think I talked myself into saying this book is horrible. I will not be continuing the series.