Tag Archives: Vera Valentine

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Knocking out some smutty short stories

This feels like a good time to do a short story binge. I’m behind on my Goodreads reading goal (even though I set it lower than in past years) and also behind on my summer writing goal, which means I can’t afford to let myself get distracted with anything I might not want to set down. So, making an effort to read some of the short stories I somehow managed to collect seems like the obvious solution.

The theme was smutty paranormal fantasy. (Don’t judge. I was feeling a certain way.) I threw a few sci-fi stories in there, too. But that’s just fantasy in space in this context. I’ve broken them up below, alphabetically, in batches of 6 just for ease and aesthetics. I honestly might still keep going with the challenge. I was enjoying it. But the post was getting a little unwieldy. So, I figured it would be safest to just break it up and call this group one.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad batch of reads; 30 in all. There were some definite winners and losers, some I really enjoyed and some I barely managed to finish, and some I read just because, toward the end, I was getting a little bored with all the sex—yeah, that’s a thing that can apparently happen—and started looking for weirdness. (Again, I was feeling a certain sort of way. Don’t judge.)

Check ’em out, and let me know if you’ve read any of them.


short stories 1-6

Claiming Beauty, by Skye Alder
Meh, it was fine, I suppose. He was awfully sweet for a ‘beast.’ I mean, I liked the awkward, sweet cinnamon roll. But he hardly fits the description of a beast (in behavior or appearance; he was only rude for a few minutes, and the scars hardly sound ghastly). None of that matters too much, though, since it’s mostly sex and then a 5-years-later with kids epilogue.

Sought to Satisfy, by Kyra Alessy
This was a decent little porn-with-plot short story. It just wasn’t my cup of tea in the end. I recognize that it is dark `romance.’ But dark romance comes in different flavors, and while I’m ok with quite a lot of those flavors, I just don’t like the flavor steeped in the rape and abuse of women. And here, we have three MMCs who save the FMC from rape and murder but don’t blink as every other woman is (with the inference that this is the norm for them and their men).

That’s a pretty big nope for me. I’m not talking trigger warnings or any sort of broader comment on what’s an acceptable dark romance trope, just what I enjoy or don’t. It pretty much ruined the story for me. Worlds that’s one defining feature seems to be the abuse, debasement, and rape of women don’t appeal to me. I find the unoriginal and unenjoyable. So, in the end, this was fine in general but not a winner for me personally.

You’re My Omega, by Beatrix Arden
Meh, it could have been something really interesting, and every once in a while, you could see the story almost manage it for brief moments. But mostly, it was full of mixed messages, boring (emotionless, repetitive, uncreative) sex, and amateurish writing. It also does not end happily, not even as an HFN.

Offered to the Orclord, by Delilah Bentley
I have to reluctantly admit to liking this. Reluctantly because I am generally bored and disappointed by worlds in which women are relegated to second-class citizens (or worse), especially when paired with sexual abuse, enslavement, debasement, etc. I find them redundant and reductionistic. I think that they are uncreative and boring. I mean, how much of a stretch is it to write a story in which men have all the power from within a patriarchal system? Offered to the Orclord in this regard is nothing special.

However, outside of my ongoing state of rape fatigue with the romance genre in general, this really is quite good. (And, of course, the story wouldn’t be the story it is if it was in a different world.) I’ve always appreciated a practical heroine, and Selendra is nothing if not practical—and marvelously spiteful without being mean. Magoth is gruff, but surprisingly kind in his own way and more than willing to take Selendra as as close to a wife as he can, rather than a slave. (Make no mistake, his is a culture that abuses and sexually enslaves women, though.) His and Selendra’s relationship feels a lot more like an arranged marriage (with a few kinks thrown in) than enslavement, and that’s down to how he chooses to place her socially and treat her. And she makes some of the important moves to further their relationship, which gives the reader a satisfying illusion that she still has agency despite her circumstances. (She also just seems to enjoy her lot in life.)

For a 41-page erotic short story, I was surprisingly happy with this. I did not, however, realize that it is a serial when I picked it up. It ends on a cliffhanger with nothing resolved, which was disappointing.

Burning With Lust, by Rianne Burnett
Meh. Might have been a fine little erotic short if not for the oddly formal language and the fact that it was too focused on the brief mechanics of the scenes rather than much of anything else.

Their Deadly Game, by Lexi Caine
Meh, pretty generic why choose porn with minimal plot. I had no strong feelings for any of the characters, could barely tell the men apart, and the sex is a severe case of insert plug A, B, C, or D into socket A, B, or C. It’s mechanical and perfunctory.

short stories 7-12

How to Slay a Dragon, by Mallory Dunlin
I picked this up expecting a smutty read and instead found a really sweet romance between a sharp-tongued dragonslayer and a half-dragon who is a bit of a himbo. There is only one actual sex scene, which is *chef’s kiss* with some great fem-dom feels. I’ve read a few things by Dunlin by now and liked every one of them.

Wed to the Minotaur, by Eden Ember
Honestly, this was just bad. It was super cringe, as my kids would say—just really, really cheesy. And that could be a matter of taste, true. Maybe some people like that. I do not. What is not a matter of taste is just how incredibly flatly and linearly it is written. I felt no emotion, no highs or lows in the plot. It is all flat, and one thing happens, then another, then it is resolved, then the next thing. It feels like a grocery list.

Wet Hot Allosaurus Summer, by Lola Faust
When I decided to read this, it had 1,178 reviews on Goodreads and a rating of 2.33. So, I did not expect fine literature. I had no expectation of a good story, engrossing plot, excellent writing, satisfying spice, or loveable characters. I went in anticipating utter absurdity and a good laugh. I mean, it’s Allosaurus’ erotica!

Honestly, it failed, though. It was certainly absurd. But I spent more time in a state of WT everloving F than amused. I do not think I laughed once.

On the upside, I didn’t initially know that the book is, in fact, two short stories and then a lot of little silly bits. But despite not liking the titular story, I did actually enjoy Lord Bartholomew’s Ankylosaur Lover theoretically by Ambrosia Penance (the second story). It was, of course, ridiculous. But it was also the right kind of silly for me.

Her Monster Boyfriends, by Skylar Flare
This was actually a bundle of 4 stories. Given the limits of what I call a short story here on the blog (<100 pages), it technically just misses qualifying. But I decided to include it anyway. Kindle pages are inexact, I rationalized.

Thoughts: Meh. I read about 70% of the first one and then skimmed the rest of it and all the other stories. Not very good. There were also a noticeable number of wrong pronouns as if the author changed the genders of characters in all the stories. I just hope that means they re-wrote their own to get two publications from every plot and didn’t, in fact, steal someone else’s to change the gender and publish as their own. Either way, I was not impressed.

Taken by the Wolf, by Elle Garnet
Repetitive, mediocre, and nowhere near as dark as that cover would suggest.

The Stone and the Star, by Jillian Graves
It’s smut, significantly more porn than plot, rushed at that. But it’s also sweet and I enjoyed it for what it is (and isn’t).

short stories 13-19

Shadow Shifter, by Mia Hartson
This started off better than it finished. It does a decent job setting up the world for the rest of the series. However, after the big event, when the monsters show up, the characters are too calm and too knowledgeable. How do they know what a “wraith form” is or that an ifrit is an ifrit? I’d probably continue the series if I found it free. I don’t think I’d buy it.

Marked For Rage, by Susan Hayes
Basically porn with the plot; it’s a little rushed, even for a novella, and it ends on a cliffhanger (so, no sense of closure). But enjoyable enough for what it is.

The Gardener and The Golem, by Marisol Knight
Meh. It was fine, I suppose, just kind of bland and pedestrian.

Uncursing Her Bears, by Cali Mann
Meh, just not very good. It starts off well enough and then reaches a certain point at which it seems to give up the story and barrels to the end with its one cumulative sex scene. The issue is that most of it is paced to be a hundred or so page story. It’s only 43 because it loses that pacing. The reader is given reason to recognize one of the men as a mate, but the author seems to forget to do the same for the other two. (Again, pacing-wise, that would make sense, and there was room.) This feels VERY MUCH like the author started writing one thing and then got bored and instead shrugged, gave it a perfunctory ending, called it a short story, and hit publish. The reader feels it and there is nothing satisfying about it. It has a cute cover, though.

Sweets for the Beast, by L.M. Maretti
The cover made me laugh. So, I read the story. It’s porn without any significant plot and utterly ridiculous in the believability department. But it’s amusing, too. So, I enjoyed myself.

Farm at the End of the World, by Sally Moose

I’m currently doing this here spicy fantasy short story reading challenge. I was about a dozen and a half stories in by the time I read this story and starting to get bored with the challenge. So, I found myself reaching a little farther afield, which is how I ended up reading a hucow short story. (It was free on Amazon, don’t judge.) I’m fairly sure it’s a first for me. I can’t say I enjoyed it, honestly. I might have if the humiliation and degradation kink hadn’t come into play at the end; if the soon-to-be hucow had gone to her fate happily.

But here’s the thing. If I wasn’t too lazy to do it (which I 100% am), I feel like this story could actually be read critically as an allegorical commentary on the role of women once they come of lactating (i.e., breeding) age, as well as society’s view on their place, production, and proper behavior. Seriously, someone doing a PhD in some field requiring intense literary critique and deep metaphoric or narrative examination (preferably feminist) should legitimately disconcert some prof somewhere by submitting Farm at the End of the World: An Erotic Hucow Farm Short Story. Whether the author did it purposefully or not is up for discussion. But I think the content is there.

short stories 17-23

A Mermaid’s Temptation, by Lizzy Nightberry
I haven’t had to complain about this for a while; authors have gotten better about it (or Amazon has gotten stricter). But there is a huge difference between a SERIAL and a SERIES, short story, or novelette. This is a 25-page, part 1 of 10 rather than a story in itself, despite clearly being labeled A Mermaid’s Tempation: The Series Book 1. SERIES, not SERIAL.

It is also bad and poorly edited…if edited at all. I invite you to see “Tempation” in the TITLE, copy and pasted from the AMAZON page! There are several instances of sentences not finishing, wrong pronouns, repeat words, just plain word salad, etc. The MMC is a serial rapist and murderer (murdering women with sex), and the FMC is held captive, entranced, and only minimally a willing participant. (And he’s not even sure she’ll survive when he has sex with her. Just curious, really.) No, thank you for any of it!

Knotting Before Them, by Amy Oliveira
This was sweet but also a disappointment. As a novella, it starts out well. There’s a setup for a plot, and the characters are interesting. I was intrigued by the older, pining alphas wanting desperately to have someone to take care of. With a bit more length, there are so, so, so many satisfying ways this story could have gone. Unfortunately, at 95 pages, there are only enough pages for hints, and then the erotic aspect takes over. I like a spicy scene as much as anyone. I know what I read. But this had so much potential to be so much more, too. So, in the end, I liked it OK, but I wish the author had developed all that tempting could have been.

Boo!, by Nick Pageant
Kindle tells me I picked this short up in 2015. But, as I never actually got my hands on Beauty and the Bookworm, which this is a side story of, I never read it. Since I’m doing this short story clean out, I decided to chance it standing on its own. It does. It’s cute, funny, and a quick, easy read. I thought names were used too frequently in the dialogue (a personal pet peeve) but otherwise enjoyed it in a slap-stick sort of way.

Monster’s Prey, by Leann Ryans
It’s basically just a sex scene with a bit of character description to give it context. But I appreciate that both are a little older, closer to middle-aged, and despite the ‘claiming what he caught’ aspect, it feels consent-positive. I liked it better than the first, which is the only other in the series I’ve currently read.

Intervention, by Nina Sestina
I decided to try and step outside my normal bounds for at least some of the stories I read for this spicy fantasy short story challenge. That’s how I ended up reading Intervention. And if you’re tempted to say, `But wait, this isn’t fantasy. It’s contemporary kink!’ I’ll raise you a lactating Dommy Mommy in the absence of any nursing children.

Honestly, the blurb promises a virginal INCEL-coded MMC, a girlfriend’s mother femdom MILF FMC, MDlb dynamic (Mommy Dom/little boy…little is a title, not a description if you’re uninitiated. The character is 19.), and adult nursing. Oh, and let’s not forget the eventual menage of Mommy to dominate him and daughter for him to dominate. I mean, there is SO MUCH going on there that I decided to give it a whirl. It was ridiculous. But it wasn’t trying to be anything else. I just almost never read stories in which the male character’s (and male reader’s) fantasy is so obviously the focus, and, unsurprisingly, it did nothing for me. All the power to those it does, though.

Shared by the Alien Princes, by Skylar Silver
Meh. Porn-without-plot. I’m fine with that, in theory. But this was also bland and unimaginative. Thank goodness it was at least short.

short stories 24-30

Bound In Stone, by Stefanie Simpson
I quite enjoyed this one. Though it has sex and the characters end in love, I wouldn’t necessarily wholeheartedly call it a romance—maybe gothic romantic suspense (or light horror) or something like that. But the writing is lovely; I liked the characters, and I was never sure it was going to have a happy ending. I’d read another story by Simpson, happily.

Transforming Love, by Debra Smith
Kindle tells me I purchased this story on May 31, 2013. 65 pages, and I somehow never managed to read it in over 11 years. It has just been floating around in my Kindle cloud that whole time. Having read it now, I kind of feel like it could have stayed there unattended for another 11 years. Yeah, it’s not very good. It starts out OK but very quickly goes downhill. All of the characters are cliched, the villainous ones especially, and it reads like a rushed, sloppy outline rather than a smooth story.

Redemption of a Wolf, by Jennifer Snyder
Meh, this was fine, I suppose. He’s all emotionally torn up and broken by grief and guilt. She exists and thereby instantly heals him and, by extension, his pack with the magic power of luuuurve. Sure, OK, if that’s your thing. The writing/editing is fine. The plot is condensed. But it’s a <100-page novella, so what can you expect? I’m just kinda bored by such plotlines. To each their own.

Reincarnated for the Monster King, by Beatrix Steam
Look, I knew what I signed up for here: porn without plot. But the subtitle “Spicy Transgender Isekai Monster Romance Short Story” has SO MUCH going on that I had to see what chaos ensued. It is just what it promises: a short isekai story in which a man (I won’t call someone who had a passing jealous thought about how nice it would be to be free like a group of women he’s watching just as he dies a true transgender) who is reincarnated into the body of a female royal whore and fucked 6-ways to Sunday by two monsters, one of which is the monster king. It’s cheesy, over the top, and utterly ridiculous…just as it sets out to be.

Taken by the Gargoyle, by H.C. Summer
Short but steamy. It’s basically a gargoyle coming to ‘claim’ his mate. There’s a bit of dirty talk, a bit of voyeurism, and several position and location changes (some of which only work in fiction). But mostly, this is surprisingly wholesome in tone. It is what it is and nothing more. But if that’s what you’re looking for, it’s not bad, which is surprising since I only picked it up for the pretty cover.

Squeak, by Vera Valentine
When I picked this book up, I didn’t expect anything from it beyond some spicy silliness. So, I wouldn’t have expected to be disappointed by it. But I found that I was. It’s because the 1st half so surprised me. There was a real depth of feeling, a surprisingly meaningful backstory, and sweet characters. So, I started to think Valentine was giving us something special after all.

But then it hit the halfway mark, and it felt like Valentine said, “You know what? I don’t want to write this heartfelt story anymore. I want to write to trend.” She then went off, Googled for a bit, and decided, “Yeah, Alpha and Omegas are in right now. This will be an A/o book,” before completely throwing out the arc she had been tracing and replacing it with an A/o one that didn’t fit the characters she’d written up to that point, the back story, or the tone of the book at all.


 

carnal cryptids cover

Book Review – Carnal Cryptids: East Coast, by Vera Valentine

I picked up a copy of Vera Valentine‘s Carnal Cryptids: East Coast as an Amazon freebie. I read it as part of both my yearly Author Alphabet Challenge (I didn’t have a ‘V’ yet) and my Mothman Challenge.
carnal cryptids cover

Desiderata needed a drink. After a long day of dodging darts and heckling tourists from her balloon game booth on the Wildwood boardwalk, she just wanted to forget her looming housing angst for an hour. When heavy flirtation and a cocktail from a suave substitute bartender shakes up her evening, things are looking up.

Until, of course, she catches him making out with a hot college guy not five minutes later.

In an attempt to forget the sinfully sexy stranger from the night before, Desi agrees to a dinner date with the eyeful of tall, dark and handsome that shows up at her job the next day. There’s just one little catch: he’s apparently already dating the two guys from the bar.

For JD, a shift behind a Jersey shore dive bar was always the same: predictable, boring, a little bit sticky. So what was it about this gorgeous brunette that instantly had him on the rocks? One look at her brought out the beast in him – and a desperate hope that she might be what he and Penn need to save Will for good. After over a century of struggle, they were due for a win – and someone who really believed in them.

One night.

That’s all they’ll need to get Desi to agree to.

But it’s going to be one hell of a night.

my review

I wanted to like this. I really did. Unfortunately, I did not. I liked aspects of it. I thought the writing was pretty good. I feel like I know New Jersey despite never being there; it’s so well integrated into the story. The world of Concepts seemed interesting. I liked that the men were in a healthy and loving triad, and I liked seeing how they related to one another. But despite liking what the book could have been, I disliked what it turned out actually to be for a few big reasons.

One, I strongly dislike fantasy romances based on WHAT a person is as opposed to WHO a person is. You always get a little of this with mate-bond romances. So, I’ve learned to tolerate it. But it is SO STRONG in this book that I couldn’t overlook it. The men in this book are only interested in Desi because she is a Believer that can grant them a permanent power bank. Sure, the author shoved love in eventually, but the damage was already done, and it wasn’t believable.

Even well past the time that they were supposed to be in love with her, we get sentences like this: “It was the whole situation—this was the only Believer we’ve ever run across personally, and we trusted the bond to do our work for us.” In case you missed it, the ‘this’ in that sentence is Desi. Not ‘she,’ no referring to her by name, ‘this.’ It could have been anyone else in the world (or a table lamp); Desi as a person was irrelevant. The whole book felt like she was an object they desired, not a person they were meant to love.

Similarly, the three men had a strong bond, and I never felt like Desi became part of it, such that they became four lovers. Instead, it felt like the throuple had a girlfriend. They were a unit, and she was outside of it. Which, honestly, doesn’t really even feel like a Why Choose romance.

Two, the whole fear plotline made no sense with the Believer plotline. The reader is somehow supposed to believe that there is a magical, sacred, loving bond between Concepts and Believers, but also that Concepts have to terrify their beloved, sacred Believers to survive (and that Believers will love them in return). Make that make sense.

This point exists in parallel to the fact that both were thrown at the reader suddenly, in a drastic change of tone during the first sex scene. One minute everyone is talking essentially about dating her in hopes of more. The reader knows she can provide a needed power boost to one of the characters. But that’s about it. Then, BAM, all of a sudden, they’re terrifying her because they need her fear, enacting ritualized phrases, and chaining her to the bed, waiting for the Believer Bond to set in. As a reader, I was like, wait, what? None of that had been previously mentioned—not the need for fear, not that the Concepts form mate-like bonds, not that there was innate, ritualized wording that has to be said (or why), none of it—and the tone of the whole book changed.

This leads me to the contradiction of chaining someone to a bed until the magic Stockholm syndrome kicks in and overrides her will and makes her want everything while simultaneously ritualistically insisting she has to ask for it (i.e., give consent). It made no sense.

carnal cryptid photoLastly, I thought the whole Dom/Sub dynamic felt entirely shoehorned into the plot and cliched. I could have done without it.

All in all, I didn’t feel any relationship growing here. Sure, we’re told they love her. But all we really see is her getting hurt, them being cruel to her, and then the bond making her unable to live without them. I find nothing about any of that sexy, especially since this isn’t intended as a dark romance!


Other Reviews:

Romantically Inclined: Carnal Cryptids: East Coast by Vera Valentine

 

Mothman Reading Challenge

For someone who has very little time to read, I keep constructing reading challenges for myself. But I like to get them down on paper when they occur to me. So, with that in mind, let me introduce you to my newest reading goal, the Romantic Mothman Challenge.

Yep, it’s totally random. And I’ll tell you how it came to be. But first, let me preface this with the fact that I’ve been very into Monster Romances lately. So, I was a little predisposed toward a cryptid challenge in the first place.

mothman challenge

Ok, it started when I innocently downloaded a copy of Emory Moon‘s Canary and the Mothman from a Bookfunnel event. Then I got an email saying I’d won a copy of Paige Lavoie‘s I’m in Love With Mothman. (I don’t even remember entering the giveaway. So, that was a complete bonus.)

Two books featuring the Mothman within a day or two of one another got my attention. So, I searched my considerable TBR to see if I had any more. Turns out I did have one—C.M Nascota‘s Sweet Berries. Three Mothman books; now I was well and truly invested.

Then, I picked up Vera Valintine‘s Carnal Cryptids: East Coast in a Stuff Your Kindle freebie event and, finally, I had a few dollars of Amazon cash. So, I bought a copy of Clio EvansDoves & Demons. Though, I bet if I’d been a little more strategic, I could find that one at Hoopla and bought an additional one for the challenge. Too bad I’m thinking of that now.

Speaking of Hoopla, there are two more there that I could borrow. There is Peter Passenger and the Mothman, by Rafe Jadison, and Gateway Mothman, by Jay Noel, which also happens to be set in my city. (I’ve been meaning to do a Saint Louis reading challenge. But picking out all the books set in STL will take a lot more time than I have available.)

There’s also Run & Hide by Beatrix Hollow, which I’m told has Mothman in it but I don’t own, and the Mothman Mysteries. But I meant to go by book titles, not series titles. So, I’m not counting it.

I’m sure that there are quite a few more out there; these are just the ones I currently know about. But I generally form challenges as an incentive to read the books already on my shelves. I’m already stretching a little to include Hoopla books. So, I’m going to limit myself to these seven and only add to the list if the universe tosses another free Mothman book in my path. (Feel free to facilitate that if you know of one. LOL.)

Edit: Well after I’d posted this, Like Mothman to a Flame came up on the freebie list. So, I grabbed it, too.


skulls-Image by minh huynh tan from Pixabay

I decided to bring my reviews back here as updates rather than do a separate challenge wrap-up. so…
Reviews: