Tag Archives: fantasy romance

how to get a girlfriend when you're a terrifying monster

Book Review: How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re a Terrifying Monster, by Marie Cardno

A few months back, I picked up a freebie copy of Marie Cardno‘s How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re a Terrifying Monster.

How to get a girlfriend when you're a terrigying monster cover

Life is tough when you’re an eldritch abomination.

Trillin isn’t technically a person. She’s a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality–one shape-shifting tentacle at a time.

Sian is sure important magical discoveries are just around the corner, if she can just get her portals to work reliably. Reaching the dimension of the Endless without being eaten on sight is a dream come true, and Sian is determined to explore every bit of it. For science, of course, not for the strangely adorable life-form who keeps popping up and trying to… flirt?

But Trillin’s world can be a dangerous place, and keeping Sian safe might risk drawing the attention of the Endless itself–which will swallow Trillin up along with all her dreams of humanity. Together, can this unlikely duo escape the Endless, figure out the optimum number of appendages, and maybe even find love?

my review

How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re a Terrifying Monster is a short little thing—barely 100 pages—and it’s silly, almost nonsensical, really. But it’s nonsensical in the best way. It’s fun and sweet, good for a lighthearted laugh at no one’s expense. I enjoyed it immensely.

But you do have to be able and willing to suspend a lot of disbelief. The how of just about everything is ignored, as is a lot of the why, and the plot is pretty constrained, considering the elements involved.

I think who will like this comes down to taste. It’s the sort of read where you legitimately expect Zaphod Beeblebrox to show up in the next scene. But if that’s your jam, I recommend checking this out.

how to get a girlfriend when you're a terrifying monster photo


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Nikky the Writer Book Review: How to Get a Girlfriend When You’re a Terrifying Monster

@buffyreads 4/5⭐️ How To Get A Girlfriend (When you’re a terrifying monster) by Marie Cardno I have been on the hunt for more lesbian books so when I stumbled upon this one I was so excited to read it! #buffyreads #bookreview #monsterromance #monsterromancebooks #lgbtqbooks #wlwbooks #lesbianbooks #booktok #blackbooktok ♬ original sound – ra!! ????????

blade and thistle banner

Book Review: Blade & Thistle, by Jacinda Hale

I accepted a review copy of Jacinda Hale‘s Blade & Thistle from Enticing Journey Book Promotions. The book was also over on Sadie’s Spotlight. So, you can hop over there, where the author provided a playlist, score, and book trailer.

Her father’s army came to conquer their homeland, but the barbarians of the Harrows will be the ones to conquer her.

Vasenia has hated her life in Eretamia ever since her father, Imperator Supreme of the Sadoran Army, forced her to join him on his military campaign. The cold, gloomy, backwater colony provides none of the high society of the capital. When her betrothed retrieves her for their wedding in the imperial city, Vasenia assumes the gods have finally shined their favor upon her.

Until her caravan is attacked along the forbidden, northern border and Vasenia finds herself in a hell far worse than Eretamia at the mercy of three ruthless warriors. No, not warriors–Harrow demons.

Barbarians. Savages. Harrow demons. Warriors Marek, Gaeb, and Ryfin know their people, the half-fae Itheni, are known by many names. Few who live south of the magical border that protects their home understand the Itheni, least of all the Sadoran invaders.

But when the three warriors rescue a Sadoran woman on their trek home, they discover she’s more than just another invader. She’s half-fae too, a descendent of the lost women whose connection to their people was severed by a curse a thousand years ago.

When an ancient bond links her to them, Marek, Gaeb, and Ryfin realize they have no choice; they must bring their enemy home. But if they want to keep her, they’ll have to claim her and reconnect her to the fae by the only means they have: pleasure.

my review

I liked this quite a lot, but I didn’t love it. I think I might have loved what it could have been if it wasn’t Porn With Plot. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Porn With Plot. I read a lot of it. I picked this up knowing that’s what it is. But in this case, Blade & Thistle has quite an interesting world and mythology sketched out, and by the end, when I had honestly gotten bored with all the sex, I found myself disappointed not to get more of it.

And really, that same sort of complaint paints several aspects of the book for me. I liked the characters a lot (most of them, anyhow). But all we really know of most of them is their caricature and what they are like in bed. I liked that Vasenia is self-sufficient and scheming. But eventually, it started to feel redundant all the times she reminded herself she was only doing what she was doing for the intel.

This is the first book of a series, so there’s a chance that some of the development I wanted will come in time. But the lack here did leave me wanting.

Now I want to have a little semantic rant. Let’s talk words. The writing here is lovely. I enjoyed it. But I want to complain about the word cunt. And before you imagine I’m clutching my pearls, let me assure you that’s not my complaint. I’ll admit it’s not my favorite, but it has its place in erotica. However, it is usually used in gritty scenarios to confer a certain admirable filth to a sex thistle and blade photoscene. But here, the Itheni consider sex and orgasm sacred acts of joining their goddess. So, the edginess of cunt felt horridly out of place in context. If it had been once or twice, I wouldn’t give a paragraph of a review to it, but it was frequent and pulled me out of every scene.

All in all, despite these complaints, I liked almost everything else about the book. I liked the openness of the Itheni. I liked the world. I’m invested in what happens next. So, I’ll be on the lookout for the next book.


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KINGDOM-OF-SALT-RDB

Book Review: Kingdom of Blood & Salt, by Alexis Calder

I accepted a review copy of Alexis Calder’s Kingdom of Blood & Salt through Rockstar Book Tours. The book was also featured over on Sadie’s Spotlight. After spending years training to defend my people from our enemies, I never expected that my enemy would be the one keeping me alive.

Athos is the last human city. A treaty with the Fae keeps the fae, the vampires, and the wolf shifters at bay, while we fight against the dragons at our border. Being a human in this world is dangerous and we all make sacrifices to survive.

When the delegation sent by the Fae King arrives to claim the human tributes required by our treaty, I never expected to forge a connection with their leader.

Ryvin is as dangerous as he is handsome. I know he’s my enemy, and I know I’m supposed to hate him, but with each passing day, he’s more difficult to resist.

But things are changing in Athos. Humans no longer want to bend to the Fae King.

Alliances blur and centuries of lies begin to unravel.

And I’m faced with a choice.

No matter how much I hate him, Ryvin might be the key to preventing war.

But it may mean sacrificing everything….

my review

I’ve read several of Alexis Calder‘s books now. I pretty much knew what to expect going into this, so I was neither pleasantly surprised nor disappointed. The book was largely as I expected. Ara was as combative and strong-willed as any of the other Calder heroines I’ve read. Ryvin was as smug and domineering as any good alpha a-hole. The wring was just as readable.

While I did have complaints (which I’ll address in a moment), where this book shined for me was in the illustration of navigating complex and conflicting relationships with gray characters. (It’s one of the book’s themes, in fact.) There were several points in the book where a character was faced with having to decide what to do about loving someone who betrayed them (and being loved by them), protected them despite being an enemy, or had understandable reasons for abhorrent behavior. I enjoyed this aspect of the book a lot.

blood and salt photoI did think that the book felt a little rushed and simplistic in the sense that the world is sketched out but not embellished. People exist, but the important cast is small. Emotions emerge, but the reader doesn’t get to see what they’re based on.

All in all, however, I’d happily continue the story. But I suspect, as has been the case with several of Calder’s books, I’ll probably forget before I manage to get my hands on the next book in the series.


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