I grabbed Adrianne Ambrose‘s Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice off of the KDP free list. At the time of posting it appears to still be free.

I occasionally comment on covers, usually just if I love or hate them. I don’t think I’ve ever made mention of the designer/artist, but this one is just too great to not comment on. It’s witty, funny, and the main reason I picked the book up in the first place. It was apparently done by Ted Naifeh. Well done, I say. Well done.

Description from Amazon:

Sound the alarm! Saddle the horses! Wake up the village elders! The Sacrificial Virgin has escaped!

Jezebelle’s voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to ‘disqualify’ Diz from being this year’s Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!

Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Glamazons attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.

This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word–or at least ruin her day.

This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.

Review:

“I don’t believe in virgin sacrifice.  It encourages promiscuity at an early age.” How’s that for a first line? Great right? Or how about this one a few pages later? “Besides, she had large breasts, a trait frequently mistaken for beauty.” Yep, that one got a laugh out of me too. Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice is not a book to be taken seriously. It is a rip-roaring good time, but utterly and completely absurd. The main character, Jezebelle, is a paragon of dauntless sarcasm, but her wit often highlights urbane truths. It’s a hoot. I lost track of how many passages I highlighted just because they were so funny. 

Be that as it may, she wasn’t my favourite aspect of the book. That would be Thor and Tul’s bemused side comments. I could easily imagine the bewildered look on their faces as they tried to figure out the actions of others. Priceless. 

I was thrown off on occasion by modern references. There I was reading along and  visualising the characters as Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonia types, maybe even Beast Master and then the author would throw in a Mason jar or a frilly lacy pillow. What!? I couldn’t quite reconcile their presence in the narrative. 

The book is quite short and ends on a cliffhanger, though I don’t know if another is planned. I almost hope one isn’t. I really enjoyed this book. It works, but I could see the joke getting old if drug out for too long. I’d hate to see that happen. It’s a gem just as it is. If you’re looking for a laugh give this one a try. That awesome parody on the cover ought to give you an idea of what you’d be in for.