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Wickedest Witch

Book Review of Eve Langlais’ Wickedest Witch

Wickedest WitchI snagged a copy of Eve Langlais‘ erotic novel(la), Wickedest Witch from the Amazon free list.

Description from Goodreads:
Thank you for engaging the services of Wicked Incorporated where the insults are given for free. 

Evangaline is not a very nice witch, but ask her if she cares. She does however have a healthy sexual appetite, and when an uncouth shifter starts appearing in her fantasies, it’s not long before she makes her erotic mind play a reality. But everyone knows a wicked witch can’t fall in love, or can she?

Ryker, a hot and muscled shifter, knows his size and domineering presence intimidates women, all except for one curvy witch he just can’t get out of his mind. Set to a task only the two of them can accomplish, he discovers wickedness has its uses, especially in the bedroom.

Dealing with vamps, a wedding from hell and a cackling gnome named Rumpelstiltskin, will these two wicked beings survive and, even more disturbing, decide to stay together?

Review:
This is not a book to be taken seriously, not even as serious erotica (though it is plenty erotic). It is utterly ridiculous, in a good way. I laughed out loud quite a few times. Evangaline and Ryker egg each-other on nonstop. Their constant insults are a lot of fun.

Now, there isn’t a lot of plot. So little in fact that you don’t even find out who’s behind the kidnapping scheme they’re ostensibly trying to solve. The book essentially consists of one sexual fantasy/masturbation session after another until they finally have real sex and then it’s just sex. What little plot there is essentially only serves to move them about so that they can have sex in different places. I never expect plot in erotica to start with, so I didn’t find this particularly disappointing. It was more than made up for with humour.

This is the second of Langlais’ books I’ve read and I really appreciate that she writes heroines that look like real, curvy women but are still sexy and confident in themselves. This almost makes her a heroine in her own right as far as I’m concerned.

I do have to say it did seem short. Amazon lists it at 207 pages. I have a hard time believing it’s actually that long unless the paperback version is double spaced and sized 16 font. Still a fun read.

Review of E.R. Davis’ Lunes and Lords bundle

Lunes and Lords Bundle

I bought E.R. Davis’ (or Emily Ryan-Davis‘) Lunes and Lords bundle after reading Dragon Call  (previously titled Mating Call), which I grabbed from the Amazon free list. Book one is still free.

Description from Amazon:

DRAGON CALL
Insomnia does things to a girl’s head, drives her to perform acts she would have scoffed at if not for a bad case of desperation. Yoga. Meditation. Getting in touch with her inner Lune via witchy rituals she doesn’t even realize she’s enacting until she’s naked in the dark with an aggressive dragon…or two.

Cora Phillips has spent her life denying the Lune tradition but with two dragons–and their masters–hounding her with mating claims, her denying days have come to an end. Like it or not, the dragons have come.

And she doesn’t like it one bit.

DRAGON DANCE
A dragon knows how to find his mate no matter how far she runs, and Lune-witch Cora’s dragon knows exactly how to lure her back for another dance with his master. Returning to New York on a mission to save her Dragonkeeper from his own self-destruction, she discovers this waltz is even more complicated than the first.

When a Lune has three different partners, which one leads?

DRAGON BOUND
Wrists bound to a hotel bed. Wrong dragon in her head. Flavor of fire on her tongue. That’s how the end begins.

Cora can’t run anymore. Not ever again. The mysteries of her life, the heritage she’s denied, the lovers and enemies she’s fled have all caught up to her, ready to eat her from the inside out if she doesn’t embrace her birthright, bind her draconic subjects, and rule like the queen she was born to be.

Review:
Though it might be a little repetitive I think the best way to go about this review is just to cut and paste the three reviews I wrote for the books that make up the bundle. But before I do that a word or two on the series as a whole. First and foremost I see NO REASON that these are cut into three novellas. This is one story, literally. Books one and two do not wrap up or conclude in any fashion. Secondly, Cora is a whiny bitch who can’t seem to make up her mind about anything, but she is also systematically denied information with which to make decisions. Third, I would have liked a lot more interaction with the dragons. I got almost no feel for the personalities of these sentient creatures. Heck, I almost don’t even know what they look like. Fourth, I could have used a calm moment or two. It felt very much like a screaming bunch of second graders on the verge of panic. No one ever seemed to just stop and think for a moment before racing off into some ill-conceived action. Having said all of that. I do very much like the idea of the story. It is very imaginative. And the actual writing–word choice, punctuation, etc is all well done.

Mating Call
I basically thought the book was ok. I just thought it felt a little rushed all over. I liked Cora but didn’t have enough time to get to know her. I liked the Dragonlords (well until one went all crazy), but I didn’t feel like I was given much depth of character. I liked Cora’s sister and mother, as well as their odd family dynamic but it felt superficial since there was so little of it. I was intrigued by the calling of a dragon mate, but it all happened so fast I barely grasped what was happening. And then, AND THEN the whole thing just ended! This is not a cliffhanger. This is an abrupt cessation of the story. Nothing concludes here. This enrages me.

Now, as true a testament as any to the fact that I was enjoying the story is that I bought the bundle so I could finish up (’cause if one ended so abruptly, you know the next one will too). But I have to admit I did so begrudgingly. I have no qualms about buying sequels, but it rankles the hell out of me to have to buy the second half of a book. Which is what it feels like one is doing when books end mid-story with no, and I mean no, wrap-up.

On a positive note, I thought the writing was fine. I didn’t notice too many typos and I have to give major props to the author for having a sexy, beautiful, size 18 heroine. Yeah, that rocks big time.

Dragon Dance
I’m struggling between 2 and 3 here. The reason for the low rating is two-fold. One, I’ve kind of lost track of what is happening here. There is something about a pearl. One minute, Greg is forcing it on her; the next, he is beating her to get it back, and then he’s telling her to take it. I’m lost. I don’t know what he actually wants from her. Plus she’s supposed to choose a dragon, then seems to think she can claim one and mate one. I don’t know.

Two, like the first book (but worse), it just ends. I mean, it just suddenly ends. This is by no means a complete novel on its own. Nope, not even by stretching the definition of ‘novella’ does this qualify as anything complete. Irritatingly, it’s not the beginning of anything either, being the middle book. So on its own, it’s just the middle of a story. Who picks up a book and just reads the middle third? No one I know.

But why not just a one-star, then? Because despite my tenuous grasp of what is actually happening, I am invested in how the story eventually comes to fruition. (I just hope I don’t get to the end of the third one and find it’s not the end of the series.) And I generally think the writing is pretty good. Pending the third book contains an ending, I would strongly post my preference to see the story firmly ensconced in a single binding. There doesn’t seem to be any real reason for it to be three books. It just creates frustration for the reader.

Dragon Bound
I am thrilled to say the series does actually wrap up here in the third book. I was a little worried that it wouldn’t. There is so much potential to this story. I really, really wanted to love it. I just really didn’t. The whole thing was rushed, nothing was explained deeply enough, and though I initially liked most of the characters I didn’t anymore by the end. Cora especially. Her indecision and refusal to face things made me want to shake her by the end. Both because I didn’t appreciate her weakness as a character and because, as a reader, I wanted to see those things she avoided. Most of the other characters piqued my ire by simply refusing information that they could have provided and thereby avoided all of the drama. Cora’s mother especially. Then after forcing Cora to deal with everyone’s obfuscation, almost everyone was absolved in some fashion. In the end it felt like Ryan-Davis couldn’t allow anyone to remain a bad guy. I felt cheated of my anger. Cora deserved to be angry at these people, so by extension, did I, as a reader.

I also found the book full of small inconsistencies or matters that were unclear and I misunderstood. For example, one moment, Miranda is informing Cora that women can’t support dragons, and the next, she is claiming one of her own. One thing I can’t complain about, though, is the writing or editing. Both were fine. All-in-all I’m fairly torn on how I feel about this one.

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Book Review of Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Sometime last year I won a copy of Seth Grahame-Smith’s  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter from CuriosityKilledThebookworm.

Description from Goodreads:
Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old-timers call “Milk Sickness.”

“My baby boy…” she whispers before dying.

Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.

When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, “henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose…” Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

Review:
I have to confess. This book was significantly better, or more serious, than I expected. I really thought it was just going to be a silly gore-fest. It wasn’t at all. It was an artful blending of history and fiction. I wish I had enjoyed it more. It is written as a retelling of Abe’s life after someone studies his personal diaries, interviews people, etc. I had a really hard time engaging in this narrative style. I’m not suggesting it was done anything but masterfully. In fact the book is quite well written (though I didn’t think the pictures contributed anything). I just couldn’t loose myself in it, I’m sorry to say.

I did feel incredibly sorry for Abe and his losses, could appreciate the position he found himself in and enjoyed his tenuous relationship with Henry. However, I absolutely cannot accept Henry’s final decision concerning Abe and can’t believe Abe would have accepted it. I thought that last little tidbit was a a complete cop-out on the authors part. Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty predictable, but I could have done without. I also would have liked to know a bit more about Mr. Smith. I liked him in the beginning, but he never resurfaced.

I’m glad to have read it, but I’m also a little happy to be finished. If you know what I mean.