Tag Archives: PNR

Book Review of Toni LoTempio’s No Rest for the Wicca

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I grabbed Toni LoTempio‘s PNR novel, No Rest for the Wicca, from the Amazon free list. At the time of posting, it was still free. I’ve included two covers because I intend to address them later in the review. The grey is from Goodreads, and the red is from Amazon.

No Rest for the Wicca No Rest for the Wicca

Description from goodreads:
Communing with the dead is an everyday occurrence for PI Morgan Hawkes. A half-Wiccan witch who can commune with spirits of those caught between worlds, Morgan uses her talents to exorcise the trapped ghost or demon as part of the Paranormal Investigation Squad – until a string of murders with a voodoo slant prompts the Special Forces Agency to ask for her assistance. Someone’s killing pureblood witches- and the SFA’s convinced Morgan’s heritage (her father was a voodoo priest) could be instrumental in solving the mystery. Teamed with dashing SF agent Cole St. John – an Inheritor Vampire that sets her blood racing – the two of them fight their attraction for each other as they race to stop a madman from unleashing a demonic force upon the world.

Review:
I got a couple of good chuckles out of No Rest for the Wicca. Morgan was a fun character who managed to pull off the tough snark without pushing it over into the suicidal diarrhea mouth so many such characters have. I enjoyed her, her desire do the right thing, her intelligence and her backbone, maybe not so much her tendency toward alcoholism and self-destructive behaviour. But a few quirks make a character more interesting.

I also enjoyed the mystery here too. Honestly, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, but it wasn’t super obvious either. However, Morgan didn’t seem to have to do much investigating to solve it. She just needed to present herself, and people handed her all the information she needed. As an example, she met one of the suspects once (never even had a conversation with him, she was picking up a dropped pencil), and he offered her an assistantship. Now, anyone who’s been to university and tried for an apprenticeship knows this isn’t at all realistic, but even in fiction, it’s a little too easy of an in. What’s more there was one particular side-character who essentially laid every clue she could need at her feet with almost no prompting and without suspecting why Morgan would be asking such questions. Too easy!

As was the fact that the main villain, who managed to spend years carefully planning the whole thing, suddenly lost all composure and got sloppy as soon as Morgan came on the scene. How do heroines do this to bad guys so often? I’ve never figured this out, no matter how often I read it in novels.

A lot has already been made in previous reviews of the whole half-wiccan/half-voodoo thing. So I won’t go on about it, but I’ll admit it threw me for a loop too. At one point, the half-vampire compares the two of them as the same, but I’m still lost as to how someone who is half biologically something (a species) can be the same as someone who is half socially something (a religion). In the end, I just had to tell myself I’ve read tons of fantasy with elves, fairies, witches, sorcerers, vampires, werewolves, etc, as races/species, and it works. So, if LoTempio wants to call them Wiccans instead, I can force that in the same vein.

There was a light romance as a subplot. However, IMHO it really needed to be played up more and made a more important part of the plot or dropped. Half-assed as it was, it’s just a distraction. Granted, Cole was sexy (except for the whole ‘My Dear’ thing that totally didn’t match his character and was exceptionally annoying), and I liked him a lot. But the romance didn’t seem to contribute anything to the story. I was left wondering what that was about. Plus, the whole 25-year-old virgin was ridiculous, considering how easily she gave it up. It felt like a needless attempt to conform to outdated social dictates of acceptable behaviour (good girls remain chaste).

There were some serious editing issues. There were missing words, misspelled words and passages like this one: “He swung his long legs out in front of him. “What I’m proposing is this—“ he swung his long legs out in front of him. “You and I go…” How many legs does this man have? It was distracting, but the book was still readable. I don’t think it was bad enough to pass the book up for.

Finally, a note on covers, and I promise I’m not trying to be mean. I’ve seen two Kindle covers for this book, and they’re both ATROCIOUS, but more to the point, don’t match the book. The first being the grey one with a woman with straight blond streaked hair and scary long fingernails. But the character is described as having curly black hair, and as she’s quite active, I can’t see the nails working out. So, who’s on the cover? The second is even worse (though a more attractive cover, I’ll admit). It’s the red one with the scantily clad woman in lingerie waving a deck of tarot around. However, the main character is described as a virgin, and as there is only one rather mild sex scene, how exactly does that erotica-like cover match the book? It doesn’t, and it is doing a disservice to the author. I would suggest one of the cartooned covers like one sees on H.P. Mallory‘s, Rose Pressey‘s, or Robyn Peterman‘s books. I think it would match the genre better. Only my opinion, though, of course, and I mention this so that others who know the genre will more accurately know what to expect.

So, I finally thought…it was a fun read. It had a few issues, but nothing that would prevent me from recommending it to PNR/UF readers.

Fashionably Dead

Book Review of Fashionably Dead (Hot Damned #1), by Robyn Peterman

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Fashionably DeadI grabbed Robyn Peterman‘s Fashionably Dead from the Amazon free list. At the time of posting, it was still free.

Description from Amazon:
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.

At least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead. Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy equates with dead?

Now I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the Terminator.

To complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his, it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.

Holy Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead are in for one hell of a ride.

Review:
I almost loved this book. It was almost a great humorous paranormal romance. It was almost a stellar read. It also almost didn’t get finished by this reader.

I feel like the author had a really fun idea, what could be engaging characters, a good sense of humour and some hot sex and then took it all, mixed in a bowl and multiplied it times ten until it was patently unpalatable. Seriously, the idea here is so good. The writing is too, but my god(dess), it’s all just taken soooooo far.

Astrid liked Prada…so she’s a Prada Whore and we’re reminded of it about 1,000 times. She becomes a vampire….then, through no effort on her part, becomes an ultra-vamp. She’s ‘The Chosen One’…then develops unbelievable and unbeatable power and skill that save the day repeatedly, despite her not knowing how she does what she does. (Don’t you just love when mysterious superpowers randomly pop up and rescue the heroine with no conscious decision on her part?) She not only can do a bit of magic here or there (when vamps aren’t supposed to be able to do any), she can shoot hundreds of silver bullets from her fingertips. She can destroy whole roomfuls of enemies (sometimes, but apparently not always, since at other times she just didn’t bother).

She’s chosen as a mate…by the most powerful vamp in the area. She gets hot around him…and then can orgasm repeatedly at a touch on her back. They have sex…and then when that isn’t wild enough for our heroine they throw in handstand positions and things that she thinks probably should be legal. Seriously? Sex and handstands, when she’s portrayed as not particularly sexually experienced.

She wants a family…then she gets one, and then another, and then another. Everyone can’t help but love her eventually. She’s funny and sarcastic…then it just becomes annoying in it’s suicidal banality. She can apparently say anything to anyone at anytime with none of the consequences other vampires would face. She gets a guardian angel…then a special fairy…then her best friend goes all super-power too. She’s too special for a girl who was just some normal Mary Sue a day earlier. She’s mated to the local ruler, daughter-in-law to the vampire king, daughter to the demon king, granddaughter to the king’s best friend, guarded by the most notable fairy to come around for 2,000 years, best friends with the fairy queen, and trained by a powerful angel who also has an important position. It’s all just too much…far, far, far too much.

Especially since I don’t know that I actually grasped why she needed all the special skills to accomplish the task ‘The Chosen One’ was meant to do. Actually, I wasn’t really even all that clear on what that was to start with. Maybe she’ll need to do more powers in the future, but as it stands much of her amazingness seemed surplus to requirements.

Further, the book is incredibly repetitive. It recaps itself at regular intervals, gives the reader the same information more than once and I just plain lost track of how many times I read, ‘What the fu…’ Scaled back, this could be a really good book. I mean it is funny. It is well written. The editing is pretty good. (I noticed a few errors, but far fewer than in a lot of indie books I’ve read.) But it’s completely unbelievable and after a while I just started groaning and rolling my eyes. Plus, it’s a freakin’ cliffhanger. At least it’s not a novella. It’s an appreciably long book, but still doesn’t have a conclusion.

Book Review of Dragon Bound and Storm’s Heart (Elder Races #1 & 2), by Thea Harrison

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I borrowed Dragon Bound and Storm’s Heart, by Thea Harrison, from my local library.

Dragon BoundDescription from Goodreads:
Half-human and half-Wyr, Pia Giovanni spent her life keeping a low profile among the Wyrkind and avoiding the continuing conflict between them and their Dark Fae enemies. But after being blackmailed into stealing a coin from the hoard of a dragon, Pia finds herself targeted by one of the most powerful—and passionate—of the Elder Races.

As the most feared and respected of the Wyrkind, Dragos Cuelebre cannot believe someone had the audacity to steal from him, much less succeed. And when he catches the thief, Dragos spares her life, claiming her as his own to further explore the desire they’ve ignited in each other.

Pia knows she must repay Dragos for her trespass, but refuses to become his slave—although she cannot deny wanting him, body and soul.

Review:
I enjoyed this well enough. I liked Pia’s backbone and thought Dragos was fun. I especially liked the way some of his behaviours came across as dragon-like without it ever being directly described as so. However, there was a lot of head hopping that irritated me, the plot was really only a thin scaffold to hang the romance on and I thought that the writing was really repetitive. Things like the fact that on the first page, which is only really a half page because of the chapter heading, the word ‘so’ is used 7 times (it sucked so bad…, fifteen minutes or so…, she was so freaking dead…, he screwed her over so royally…, etc). Also Dragos is described as ‘aggressive’ about a thousand times and his eyes are raptor-like on every third page. I don’t really understand how or why the book has won so many awards. I wouldn’t call it great, but I did enjoy it in a light, fluffy kind of way.

Storm's HeartDescription from Goodreads:
During the rule of her murderous Dark Fae uncle, Thistle “Tricks” Periwinkle found sanctuary among the Wyr in New York. Her ethereal beauty and sparkling personality won the hearts of the public, but after her uncle’s death, there are those who don’t want to see her ascend to the throne.

Able to wield thunder and lightning, Wyr sentinel Tiago Black Eagle has ruled the skies for centuries. His massive build and thunderous power make him one of the Wyr’s best weapons. And he’s sent to protect Tricks when she’s almost assassinated in Chicago.

Soon, both Tiago and Tricks will fall prey to the stormy hunger that engulfs them—a passion that will shake the very foundation of all the worlds.

Review:
We’ve all read this book a couple dozen (hundred?) times before, regardless of the character names, environments, species, etc. The big, bad, beastly alpha male is blindsided by his sudden passion for some surprising little slip of a thing, who he worships for her sexy body and what he sees as her amazing inner strength. He shows this beguilement by trying to control every aspect of her life. Meanwhile, she squawks a bit at his overbearing manner, but secretly loves letting him overpower her and spends a third of the book fantasising about how else the barely human man might dominate her. Sound familiar? Yeah, I know.

I’m afraid this was a serious case of ‘meh’ for me. I didn’t hate it, but it did little for me either. The issue is that it’s a bon-bon. I can’t even call it cotton candy, which a person will read for the simple ephemeral wisp of momentary enjoyment. No, this is something you go specifically to the store to buy, curl up on the couch with the box and purposefully indulge in. Indulge in what? Vicariously experiencing what it’s like to have some über-male make you the absolute centre of his universe. That’s what Tiago does to Tricks. He worships her with every ounce of his beastly self and it touches on some primal female desire apparently, because I realise a lot of people love this kind of thing. More power to you, but I need a little more. Yes, I think seeing the “holocaust of a male” go weak at the knees for his mate is sexy, but it’s pretty much all he (or anyone else) did in this book. It’s just page after page after page of him growling how sexy she is, or that she’s his, or what he’s going to do to her when they get to a bed, or how he’d do anything to protect her, or how he’d never leave her, etc. Redundant much? In return, Tricks drools over his muscled, dangerous body and scary, antisocial personality again and again and again. Yep, still redundant. None of this is helped by the tendency to use the same descriptives repeatedly. Tiago’s face is described as some version of hatchet hewn or knife bladed about a million times.

There is a thin thread of plot-line tying everything together, but it’s not much one. The world was essentially set out in book one and the characters were introduced (though by no means gotten to know) in the previous book. So apparently forgoing the character development was seen as acceptable. (There really isn’t any.) So, without much in the line of plot, world-building or character development what do you fill 300 pages with? Yep, you guessed it, internal emotions, declaration off love and sex. That’s about all you’ll get here. As fantasy fodder, it fits the bill, but if you’re looking for ANYTHING more substantial it’s a fail. There’s no substance to it and there isn’t meant to be. And while I can kind of see what people see it in, if it’s all there is to a book it just feels cheap.