Tag Archives: erotica

Book Review of Vampire Vacation, by C. J. Ellisson

I picked up C. J. Ellisson‘s book, Vampire Vacation, from the KDP free list. It’s still free…probably perma-free.

Description from Goodreads:
Meet Vivian. She’s a 580-year-old vampire who exudes sex, has a talent for drama, and is passionate about two things: her human husband, Rafe, and their resort for the undead. Her ability to project physical illusions has created the perfect vacation spot-a dark, isolated Alaskan hideaway where visitors can have their wildest fantasies come true.

Vivian knows the best performance requires perfect timing, but the powerful vamp is put to the test when she discovers a corpse in a locked guestroom minutes before the next arrivals. Always cool-headed, Rafe hides the body, convinced he and Vivian can find the culprit without disturbing their guests. Juggling the increasingly outrageous demands of their customers while tracking a killer isn’t easy.

Will their poking and prodding give them the answers they need, or will it uncover secrets Vivian would kill to protect?

Review:
I moved this up my TBR after coming across a one-star Amazon review that was getting slammed with negative votes and derisive comments (198 at last count). I wanted to see what all the hubbub was about. (This, BTW, is a perfect example of a bad review gaining a book a reader. Just goes to show, bad reviews aren’t always bad for a book.)

My opinion? I wouldn’t call it one star worthy, but it’s not any great piece of literature either. Granted, it’s paranormal erotica, so who would expect great literature? But even for the genre it’s just fluff. Now, I enjoy a little fluff now and again. I do. So I’m not disparaging the book for this. But I will have to admit that it’s a pretty weak offering.

The problem is that the sex is too thick, even for an erotic book. At one point, the main characters have sex three separate times in a matter of hours. Now, given the time it takes to do the deed, cleanup (hopefully), redress and let the rubbery legs recuperate I have a hard time figuring out how they’re supposed to be getting anything else (like run an inn) done. Yes, I know it’s fantasy and I shouldn’t worry about the particulars, but i do.

That’s generally how the book felt. It was so cluttered with unnecessary and unrealistic sex (apparently no-one needs or expects foreplay, there isn’t any to be found) that the plot is forced to the side. I could almost see the poor thing trying to push itself to the surface on occasion, like a drowning victim in high seas. It would manage to peak out for a moment, only to be overcome by some ridiculous sexual foray, usually between Viv and Rafe but occasionally between a secondary character and Viv’s imagination. It was just a constant barrage on one sex-related activity, fantasy, comment, imagining, etc after another. The VV Inn felt very much like a bordello or a sex-retreat (do these have names?), but all of the guests felt too innocent to be there.

Then there is Viv, herself. I’m putting her in the too stupid to live category. She’s presented as if she’s unusually clever and strong, but she creates one ridiculous situation after another. Each time there is an excuse—I was so distracted by the blood I couldn’t think straight or I was so hopped up on werewolf blood I was distracted, etc—but after a while the excuses start to feel like just that, an excuse to cover her obvious lack of intelligence.

Though it was a bit heavy handed (we’re told about a million times how much they love/desire one another), I did appreciate the obvious affection between Viv and Rafe. It was nice to see a solid, loyal married couple with no desire to give in to the temptation to wander.

The writing itself was simplistic but fine, though names did crop up a bit too often to read smoothly. It’s in first person, present tense (which I HATE, hate, hate) but it’s not too badly edited and there aren’t too many cringe-worthy passages. All in all, it’s a little on the cheesed up side, Vivian being too focused on her own sexual prowess (teaching the guest SMBD, for example) to feel serious about much of anything else. She felt self-centred and conceited. I loved Rafe, Jon and Asa but not Viv, if I’m honest. If I found the rest of the series free, I’d read it. But I’m not racing out to put my money on the table for it.

Book Review of Laid Bare, by Lauren Dane

I picked up a used hardback copy of Laid Bare, by Lauren Dane.

Description from Goodreads:
Unexpected Desire…

It’s been ten years since clean-cut, sexy-as-hell police officer Todd Keenan had a white-hot fling with Erin Brown, the provocative, wild rocker chick next door. Their power exchange in the bedroom got under his skin. But love wasn’t in the cards just yet…

Now, life has thrown the pair back together. But picking up where they left off is tough, in light of a painful event from Erin’s past. As Todd struggles to earn her trust, their relationship takes an unexpected and exciting turn when Todd’s best friend, Ben, ends up in their bed–and all three are quite satisfied in this relationship without a name. As the passion they share transforms Erin, will it be enough to help her face the evil she thought she had left behind?

Review:
If I was going to title this review, I would call it Bondage & Ménage for Beginners. That’s what this book is. It is nice in that it allows the reader to indulge in a little BDSM without the humiliation that so often accompanies it. This is great for people like me who enjoy the occasional foray into the bondage scene, but hate the abusive humiliation that so often goes with it. Though this comes across as really light stuff (there is only a little bondage and domination play, but a big deal is made of it), it was nice to see one theme without it’s darker, more disturbing shadow.

Much more time is dedicated to the ménage à trois, but it’s still pretty lightweight stuff. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is smokin’ but it does tend to repeat itself in an attempt to not portray anything too extreme. Excuse me for my opinion, but if you’re brave enough to write a committed ménage relationship, you need to be brave enough to include all the ways a m/f/m grouping can engage in coitus (or at least more than just the safe for polite conversation ones). Otherwise, exclusions stand out as glaring omissions.

This would be a great introduction to kinky erotica. Not only because it only dips its toe in the kink factor (while pretending it’s going all hog wild, allowing readers to do the same) but also because there is a whole marshmallow soft underside to it. It’s incredibly safe.

It includes and endless supply of conversations like this, “Good. I feel that too. I want you to know I respect what you and Todd have. I’d never do anything to harm that. I care about you both.” It’s just so painfully earnest and therefore unrealistic, but it provides a gentle cossetting for any nervous reader. Personally, this kind of thing drives me up the wall. I don’t want to be cossetted, so all I get out of it is the irritation left behind by the internal, “yeah right, like he would really say that.” But some readers need and like it.

This whole artificial safety net is further enhanced by the strictly proper use of D/s in the MCs’ conversations. It often made me feel like I was actually reading some sort of how-to manual. It’s not that it was wrong, just too exact for believable dialogue, especially since the characters are new to the D/s scene. It’s like listening to someone talk about sex, but always saying penis and vagina. It’s perfectly correct grammatically, but who really talks that way?

This left some of the sexual dialogue feeling stiff. It was in general anyway, but this enhanced it. Things like Todd showing up after 10 years and 10 minutes into their first conversation saying, “I want to dominate you.” No nervous, getting to know you again conversation for him. No feeling her out to see if she’s still into that sort of thing. No dancing around the subject or using pretty euphemisms, even though he’s never actually spoken this way to anyone before. It’s unrealistic and often highlighted ‘oh yeah, this is fictitious’ for me. It is, of course. But that doesn’t mean I want to be dramatically reminded of it.

If I’m honest, every-time the characters progressed form one stage of their relationship to the next it was blunt and sudden like this, no finesse. People don’t just leap out of their social mores so easily, but that’s a whole different issue.

These are all only small annoyances really. My only REAL complaint is that the broken, victimised, scarred, scared woman who finds a strong man to put her back together and protect her has been done and done and done and DONE. It’s beyond cliché. Now, throwing Ben into the mix was at least an unusual twist on the well-rehearsed plot, but it was halfway through the book and felt very tacked on to me. However, I will grant that seeing the two men 100% dedicated to the protection and pleasure of a single woman was a heady experience. And Todd and Erin’s history gave a believable reason for him to be so overly enamoured with her.

All in all, I enjoyed it. But I spent a lot of time groaning at the exaggerated feel good factor. I highly recommend it for any reader who wants to have their first literary BDSM or ménage experiance, but aren’t sure if they’ll like the genre or not. Anyone with any significant experience with the subject matter will probably share some of my eye rolling moments.

Review of Zaria & Zauran (Neuripra, #2), by Poppet

2 Replies

Last week, I reviewed Poppet‘s Phoebe & Seithe. Afterwards, I was left in indecision since I have a book that I thought might be next in the series, but wasn’t certain because they have recently been repackaged, retitled and republished. To my delight, the very next day, Zaria and Zauran came up on the KDP free list. I grabbed it, even if it might actually be the same as Zauran under the new cover & title. (Though I really do wish for some clarification on how the series relate. I know I can’t be the only one out there that has some of the old and new books and isn’t sure how they line up…or if they line up.)

Description from Goodreads:
In an ancient battle between the neuri of Belgrade and the Vampyre, Zaria is caught in the middle.

She is hopelessly drawn to Darise but then the neuri Zauran kidnaps her, changing everything. It couldn’t be more complicated. Darise offers unconditional love, Zauran offers rabid passion, throw in the rest of the family and you have mayhem. Then betrayal catapults Zaria into Zauran’s life just when a king returns to cause anarchy.

Božena is a poisoned thorn in Zaria’s side, and her world comes crashing down as violence, betrayal and death, threaten to rip her from love. A king’s key is the bridge between Zaria and happiness, but for some the intervention comes too late.

Review:
The actual writing here is good and I really appreciate the interesting locations chosen for the stories. This one was set in Belgrade, Serbia. (The previous one was set in Table Top Mountain, South Africa). I also occasionally liked some of the characters. (I’ll get to the ‘occasionally’ issue in a moment). Venix was awesome. Zauran finished up as wonderful. I eventually liked Ryan. Even Sveta had admirable moments. There were definitely parts of this book worthy of praise.

The book felt fractured, however, like it didn’t really know where it wanted to go when it set off on its journey so it ended up wondering aimlessly and then finishing at some previously undetermined location. One romantic arc was established and then discarded for another, for example. Actually, at times it felt like the story had been conceived and originally written as at least 3 different short stories, that were later stitched together into a book. I’m not claiming this to be the case. How would I know? But The way the book introduced new characters and took a fairly drastic left turn at 43%, then did it again at about 60%, combined with the tendency to randomly recap on occasion and the passage of large chunks of undocumented time between sections of the story gave the book that kind of feel. It felt like it would be easy to cleave it into 3 pieces without the loss of consistency. In fact, just the opposite is true. It felt like these three pieces didn’t belong in the same whole, despite containing some of the same characters.

Characters had drastic personality changes (thus my only occasionally liking some of them). One attempted rapist suddenly turned contrite and gentle. A previously loving man turned philandersous and eventually violent and so on. While these inconsistencies were annoying, they were also difficult to accept, as it meant the reader was left feeling betrayed by some characters and/or having to accept that previously despicable characters were suddenly the good guys. Whiplash anyone? Had these been separate stories it wouldn’t have felt so disruptive, but in one book they felt artificial. Especially since the impetus for change wasn’t always clear. I have no idea what happened to Darise, for example.

What’s more Zaria often came across as simply too stupid to live. She took everything said to her at face value and as absolute truth, with no further thought on the matter. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a likeable character and all, but she didn’t come across as too bright.

Lastly, and this paragraph contains a spoiler, some of the truths established in book one seemed to be discarded or contradicted here. For example, in Phoebe and Seithe it was clearly stated that only a person’s ‘chosen’ could redeem him, but Zaria manages to redeem Darius, despite not being his chosen. And Darise didn’t seem to have been condemned as a red eye, even though he killed someone.

All in all, I enjoyed the book but I spent a decent amount of the time confused by it. I’d be happy to finish the series out, but it’s not topping my favourites list.

So, here I am again, finished with Zaria & Zauran. I happen to have Sveta, #1 of the Neuri series (which is the follow-up series to Pravus, as I understand it). Is it the same as Bozena & Sveta (Neuripra #3)? I’m betting it is, but I’d hate to waste my time reading it if it isn’t. Arggg! Congratulations Poppet on being picked up by Thorstruck Press, but could you throw out a clarification for those of us struggling here? Please? I just want to know I’m reading the right books in the right order. I don’t actually care what the title/series is or what the covers look like.

You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna hold off on reading Sveta. Maybe like Zaria & Zauran, Bozena & Sveta will pop up on the free list and then I’ll be certain I’m on the right book. Yeah, that makes sense. Right?