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Double Alchemy

Book Review of Double Alchemy, by Susan Mac Nicol

Double AlchemyI bought a copy of Double Alchemy, by Susan Mac Nicol.

Description from Goodreads:
Powerful yet tormented modern warlock Quinn Fairmont must initiate the silver-eyed Cade Mairston into the world of witchfinders, Withinners, and what can happen when two men fall truly, madly, deeply in love. 

THE WORLD IN SHADOW 

In modern London there lurks a warlock, Quinn Fairmont. Dangerous, powerful, tortured, sharing his body with the soul of an ancient Welsh sorcerer, Quinn is never alone—and never wholly himself. He fights against all those who would exploit his kind. He takes pleasure where he can find it. 

In the forest of Hampstead Heath, Quinn’s hometown, Cade Mairston appears to him like a waking dream. Lithe, lean and silver-eyed, he evokes feelings in Quinn unlike any other: lust with true affection, immediate and shocking. Cade is clearly more than he seems. And yet, if a man of the world, Cade is innocent. He knows nothing of warlocks, witchfinders or Withinners. He knows nothing of what he is, what he might be, or what he might feel. For him, the story is just beginning. Magyck, peril and passion await.

 Review:
This book has a great cover. That’s the best thing I can say for it. Well, that and I appreciate Quinn and Cade being 36 & 35 years old. It’s nice to encounter older leads, or at least not ridiculously youthful ones. But again, those are my only true compliments for this book. And now I’m going to rant a bit.

First and foremost, though possibly backwards to mention it in the beginning, this book is seemingly ennnnnddddllesssss. I swear I prayed and prayed for the end and it always seemed hours off. Even after the baddie had been beaten, the hero gone to the hospital, healed and been released, then returned home, made love to his boyfriend (again) and ensured the wellbeing of his injured business partner, when it seems like there can’t possibly anything more to the book there is another 7% left and a new angle is pursued. (One I couldn’t have cared less about.)

My god this book is all over the freakin’ place. To say it needs to be trimmed and tightened up is like saying one of those people with disgustingly long, curling toe nails needs a pedicure. As a start, the author could cut about 50 pseudo-sex scenes. No joke, I’m not exaggerating.

From page one, the book jumps right into the sexual attraction. It then focuses almost exclusively on it, taking a really long time to find an actual plot (which is pretty darned weak). There is simply too much pseudo-sex, much, much, much too much.

Sure, I love an occasional smut-fest erotic novel, in which I wouldn’t expect to have much in line of a plot. But this doesn’t seem to have been written with that intent, it just fails to be anything else. Contradictorily, however, despite having a sex scene on just about every other page (and I’m being pretty literally about that) most of it is off screen. The reader gets the kissing, the attempt at dirty talk and is told this or that might have happened, but usually the actual act isn’t shown. Thus, it also fails as porn and I termed it pseudo-sex. And it too is eeennnnddddllesssss (rather, a large part of why the book feels endless).

I also have to inquire, is this romance? I ask because the a huge part of the plot is that a warlock and a fey would always be attracted like magnets. That means ANY warlock and ANY fey would be attracted to one another. Thus the characters could and would be attracted to any other warlock or fey they encountered. It has nothing, nothing at all, to do with THESE characters. That’s not romantic in the least. In fact, I find it kind of off-putting. It’s kind of like rape in the sense that they have no free will about it. In further fact, when the same magnetic force is used by someone other than Quinn, even he likens it to rape.

So, I am completely unable to figure out how the ‘honey’ and ‘baby’ and ‘wanting only him’ and ‘soul mate’ make sense. What makes their attraction any different than the sexual pull they would feel with any other person of said genetics? Plus, these declarations of love cropped up AS SOON AS the men had sex, as if by having sex (unavoidable sex at that) suddenly made them a couple for life.

Then there was the annoyingly ‘safe sex.’ Early on Quinn makes the socially mandated (but utterly unnatural and forced) fuss about ensuring they practice safe sex. Then the next time they’re together they ‘agreed they trusted eachother enough for a no-condom policy.’ Yeah, because the diseases they were previously concerned about are only contagious when two people don’t trust each-other, right? Why bother with it if your just going to throw it away?

One of my biggest mm pet peeves is seeing one half of a couple written as a woman. Cade is definitely such a character, complete with an ‘inner bitch.’ Not to mention calling himself a ‘bitch from hell’ and ‘prima donna’ within a paragraph on eachother and having his displeasure called a ‘girl fight.’ Everything from his personality, thoughts and actions (and all that shame) to how Quinn sees and treats him cues the reader into his role as a female. (And he’s not described as a femme.)

Most significantly though, is the way he has no real control over his sexual urges and the implication that all a man needs is access to ‘have’ him. This is especially obvious when one looks at the magical pull that’s supposed to exist between warlocks and fey. It’s only Cade (the girl) who is helpless to resist or even think in the face of it. Both Quinn and Taliesin seem to function and hunt just fine under its influence.

(As an annoying side note, it’s also inconsistent as the book progresses. It allows Cade different reactions at different times, that according to the rules previous set up in the book he shouldn’t have had. For example, we’re told it’s an effect that always occurs, but Cade meets Percy and Magnus without so much as a twinge.)

Then there is the writing, OMG, the writing. It is really clumsy, not necessarily bad but not such that I sunk into it and lost myself. Things like the use of the word ‘happy’ three times in a paragraph or  boyfriend 33 times in the book, groin 41 times, cock 50 times, lover 70 times, lips 71 times, chuckle 80 times, or kiss 110 flipping times. They’re noticeable in their repetition. (Eventually, I had a hell of a lot more fun clocking these repetitions than reading the actual book.)

Or passages like this: “…feeling a strange disquiet as well as a familiar sexual stirring in his groin, with his cock slowly rising, scenting a possible conquest. He was used to getting rock hard when he saw something he liked but the speedy progression of his current hard-on surprised him.” Well, is it slow or speedy? Or “Jomo chuckled loudly, a deep belly laugh”…a chuckle, by definition, can be neither loud nor a deep belly laugh. It’s not being these things that makes it a chuckle. I highlighted a ton of such passages. For example, at one point we’re told Cade is lying supine while tied into a chair.

It also often used bigger words than necessary, but not quite in the right context—like the time Quinn kisses Cade on the ‘proboscis.’ A proboscis is “the nose of a mammal, especially when it is long and mobile, such as the trunk of an elephant or the snout of a tapir.” It has been used to describe, in a derogatory way, a person with a large nose, true. But Cade wasn’t suggested to have a particularly big one. So proboscis, while meaning a nose, doesn’t really describe Cade’s nose. So why bother with the $10 word. (And it’s worth noting that I generally love big words in my lit, but it has to be appropriately used.

The exposition is clumsy too. There are a number of lengthy and…well, again, clumsy conversation in which a ton of questions were asked and answered. (This usually happens in bed, before and/or after sex was supposed to have occurred.)

The editing is a disaster. Not only because of the not quite right words, but wrong words, missing words, and mishaps; for example, swimming in the pool when someone’s gone to the pond. A pond, by the way, that must be huge if it requires a buoy. (Where’s the line between a pond and lake?) Plus, good lord, surely an editor would have told the author to cut at least a third of the book.

I found the internal dialogue annoying. Annoying in and of itself, but also because it was italicised in the same manner as Quinn’s inner dialogues with Talisen, making them confuseable. The whole thing was also painfully predictable, with a wooden cardboard cut out villain, prone to cliché monologues.

So in the end, I’m throwing this on the short list of worst books I’ve read this year. Fail!

Book Review: A Russian Bear, by C.B. Conway

a russian bear coverAbout the book:

To Mischa, life is simple. Doms are Doms and subs are for fucking, flogging, and bossing around. Until he meets Tom, that is. Tom is deeply offended when the stranger in the bar takes him for some kind of slave boy. Well, offended and more than a little excited by the thought of surrendering to Mischa. Mischa being Mischa, their meeting results in Tom losing his virginity in a way that’s hotter than even his wildest fantasies. Mischa is drawn to Tom and makes another appointment. And then another, initiating Tom to every kink Mischa knows. They aren’t scenes, of course, because Mischa has a “one boy, one scene” rule. But then again, Tom isn’t exactly like his usual boys, and Mischa finds himself falling in love, though nowhere near ready to admit it. Luckily, Tom isn’t exactly your stereotypical slave. Life is good — until Tom gets attacked, and Mischa has to fight harder than ever to make Tom realize that he isn’t going anywhere.

Review:

I wish I hadn’t started this, then I wouldn’t have needed to finish it. I’m not really into instructional sex, so this was never going to be a big winner for me. (I didn’t know that was basically ALL it is when I chose to read it.) But I also got REALLY bored with the Ds/BSDM 101 and monotonous ‘playroom’ toy scenes. I lost track of how many times I read some version of ‘This is an X. It does Y’ or ‘This is a Y. I’m going to do X to you with it.’ Mischa and Tom were like kids in a freakin’ candy store. ‘I’ll try this and this and this and this and this and this and this…’

The book didn’t develop even a whiff of a plot until close to 50%, and it was almost nonexistent even then. By that time, I was only continuing the book out of a stubborn determination to see if it really could be a whole book of ‘This is how you do it and use this toy/tool/instrument.’ (Apparently, it could.) Plus, all of Tom’s earnest and honest answers about what he needs and wants and why came across as little more than dry lessons into the intent and proper uses of D/s and BDSM kink. I don’t mind reading about kink, but I’m not interested in reading an instruction manual, and that’s what this felt like.

After the halfway mark, when the relationship started to develop, and some of the sex could just be kinky sex and not feel like the ‘how to use’ pages from the Acme Erotic Toy catalog, some of the scenes were pretty hot, and Mischa & Tom were pretty sweet together. But for most of the book, I found myself gritting my teeth.

I did appreciate the occasionally sarcastic narrative, especially in regard to Mischa’s inner dialogue. I also liked the age difference between the men and the fact that no big deal was made of it. I was curious about names. There is the obviously Russian ‘Mischa’ and, without exception, every other character in the book has some bland American name, like Tom, Rob, John, Daniel, etc.

I thought that the writing was basically fine, and the editing was passable. I did notice the occasional overuse of names in dialogue, some sudden POV shifts, and it’s occasionally hard to tell who’s speaking. Plus, as a personal pet peeve, ‘Oh, ah, oh, uh, oh, ah, oh, oh, oh…’ has never struck me as sexy erotic dialogue. So, in terms of my own enjoyment, this is a one-star read. But I’ll grant it a second because, to be fair, the book is structurally sound.

Book Review of The Magpie Lord (A Charm of Magpies #1), by K. J. Charles

The Magpie LordI borrowed a copy of The Magpie Lord, by K. J. Charles. (Thanks, L.)

Description from Goodreads:
Exiled to China for twenty years, Lucien Vaudrey never planned to return to England. But with the mysterious deaths of his father and brother, it seems the new Lord Crane has inherited an earldom. He’s also inherited his family’s enemies. He needs magical assistance, fast. He doesn’t expect it to turn up angry.

Magician Stephen Day has good reason to hate Crane’s family. Unfortunately, it’s his job to deal with supernatural threats. Besides, the earl is unlike any aristocrat he’s ever met, with the tattoos, the attitude…and the way Crane seems determined to get him into bed. That’sdefinitely unusual.

Soon Stephen is falling hard for the worst possible man, at the worst possible time. But Crane’s dangerous appeal isn’t the only thing rendering Stephen powerless. Evil pervades the house, a web of plots is closing round Crane, and if Stephen can’t find a way through it—they’re both going to die.

Review:
A number of people I follow of Goodreads have read and loved this book. I’m always nervous starting such a book, because there is so much more of a chance of going in with high expectations and being doubly disappointed if it doesn’t live up to the hype. Luckily for me, The Magpie Lord does. I really quite enjoyed it.

I liked Crane’s Devil may care attitude. (I was expecting a stuffy Earl and was relieved to find he wasn’t.) I liked that Day held his own, despite his small stature. I adored Merrick. He was, by far, my favourite character. I liked everyone’s witty banter and general disregard of social dictates.

Despite what I liked, there were also things that niggled at me. I thought Crane’s transition into trash-talking sexual pursuer was sudden and startlingly abrupt. As if from one page to the next he went from having a professional relationship with Day to seeing him as a potential conquest and that required he tell him repeatedly what he would do to him.

I thought that despite being strong in most contexts, anytime the story swerved toward a sexy scene all Day’s descriptions felt like those of a woman. To quote another reviewer (because I couldn’t say it better), “He is constantly on his knees, gets his red lips moistened and “broken” open by Crane, he is breathy, nearly faints half of the time, reacts like a Harlequin lady to Crane, is snippy, in the end gets f*cked like a girl (tried several times and f*cked in the end like that as well) and it’s just not a femme who is described there. It’s a “male girl”.”

I felt cheated out of the sex too. There were several almosts, but the final actual act was practically glossed over in favour of its consequences. What’s more, the suggestion that Day was a natural submissive to Crane’s preferred domination came out of nowhere and felt like a gimmick in the end. What it actually probably is is a set up for their relationship in future books, but I can only judge from here for now.

Lastly, though the mystery was interesting for most of the book, the revelation of the villian(s) was a let down. They came out of nowhere, thereby holding no emotional relevance for the reader. Heck, half the time I couldn’t even keep the names straight as they’d played so little role in the book that they hadn’t cemented in my mind and they were so similar.

So, I had a couple complaints, it’s true. But For the most part, despite not being a fan of historical fiction in general, I really enjoyed the book and will be looking to continue the series.