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Book Review of The Lawrence Browne Affair, by Cat Sebastian

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I borrowed a copy of Cat Sebastian‘s The Lawrence Browne Affair from my local library.

Desription from Goodreads:
An earl hiding from his future . . . 

Lawrence Browne, the Earl of Radnor, is mad. At least, that’s what he and most of the village believes. A brilliant scientist, he hides himself away in his family’s crumbling estate, unwilling to venture into the outside world. When an annoyingly handsome man arrives at Penkellis, claiming to be Lawrence’s new secretary, his carefully planned world is turned upside down.

A swindler haunted by his past . . . 

Georgie Turner has made his life pretending to be anyone but himself. A swindler and con man, he can slip into an identity faster than he can change clothes. But when his long-dead conscience resurrects and a dangerous associate is out for blood, Georgie escapes to the wilds of Cornwall. Pretending to be a secretary should be easy, but he doesn’t expect that the only madness he finds is the one he has for the gorgeous earl.

Can they find forever in the wreckage of their lives? 

Challenging each other at every turn, the two men soon give into the desire that threatens to overwhelm them. But with one man convinced he is at the very brink of madness and the other hiding his real identity, only true love can make this an affair to remember.

Review:
Another lovely read from Cat Sebastian. I thought the grumpy Lawrence and snarky Georgie were a wonderful pairing. I love that Sebastian didn’t let the story fall into the normal rut of such stories, but had two men who were able to intelligently read each other. Such that the reader isn’t presented with a lot of artificial drama that could have easily been avoided. There was drama, but not the over-wrought, “He’s been lying to me the whole time. I obviously can’t trust him or myself, bla, bla, bla” type that this particular sort of pairing so often brings about. Sebastian plays with that expectation, but in the end I found it really satisfying to see Lawrence, mad as he might think himself, continue to trust his own perceptions over those of another, even Georgie.

I like that Lawrence mastered his social anxiety (agoraphobia? autistic?) and other issues to rescue Georgie. But I like it even more that it isn’t presented as if suddenly cured. What he did was hard for him and he never wants to do it again. And he’s ok, even with his quirks. I did think the rescue came about a little too easily, but it was a feel-good kind of event more than a realistic one, for me. And, while Georgie’s rescue of Lawrence might not have been as dramatic, it is undeniable all the same.

All in all, I simply enjoyed it and I look forward to reading Uncle Courtenay’s book this summer.

On a side note: I borrowed this book from my local library in a normal mass media paperback form. Man, the margins were all over the place, including in the gutters. Such that some pages had outside margins, some didn’t, with the words running right to the edge of the paper. Some pages had inside margins, and on other the words ran straight into the spine of the book. I don’t know if libraries get different printings, but it was a bit of a mess.

Where We Left Off

Book Review of Where We Left Off (Middle of Somewhere #3), by Roan Parrish

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I won an Audible copy of Where we Left Off, by Roan Parrish, through Binge on Books.

Description from Goodreads:
Leo Ware may be young, but he knows what he wants. And what he wants is Will Highland. Snarky, sophisticated, fiercely opinionated Will Highland, who burst into Leo’s unremarkable life like a supernova… and then was gone just as quickly.

For the past miserable year, Leo hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the powerful connection he and Will shared. So, when Leo moves to New York for college, he sweeps back into Will’s life, hopeful that they can pick up where they left off. What begins as a unique friendship soon burns with chemistry they can’t deny… though Will certainly tries.

But Leo longs for more than friendship and hot sex. A romantic to his core, Leo wants passion, love, commitment—everything Will isn’t interested in giving. Will thinks romance is a cheesy fairytale and love is overrated. He likes his space and he’s happy with things just the way they are, thank you very much. Or is he? Because as he and Leo get more and more tangled up in each other’s lives, Will begins to act like maybe love is something he could feel after all.

Review:
Much to my own surprise, this was my favorite of the series, so far. (I don’t know if more are planned.) Part of this could be attributed to the fact that I listened to it in audio and Spencer Goss did a really good job with the narration. He was maybe a little overly breathy and there might have been a bit too much quiver in his voice, as if Leo were on the verge of tears the whole time. But mostly I thought it was excellently done and definitely contributed to how much I enjoyed this book. But I also just really loved the story of Leo and Will.

I’m not usually into New Adult stories, but this is apparently an exception. I love how much growth the characters went through, how well Parrish wrote college years, how expressive Will was without being communicative in the least, how verbal Leo was by comparison, the way both men could see completely different things in the same event, be injured differently. And I love that Parrish didn’t cop out on the idea that monogamy isn’t the end all and be all for everyone. The books ends with a happy for now that I like to pretend is a happily ever after, but the book importantly isn’t claiming it is for sure.

I liked the first two books, though the second left me indignant and angry. But I really enjoyed this one.

Out of Nowhere

Book Review of Out of Nowhere (Middle of Somewhere #2), by Roan Parrish

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I borrowed a copy of Roan Parrish‘s Out of Nowhere. I reviewed book one in the series, In the Middle of Somewhere, last year.

Description from Goodreds:
The only thing in Colin Mulligan’s life that makes sense is taking cars apart and putting them back together. In the auto shop where he works with his father and brothers, he tries to get through the day without having a panic attack or flying into a rage. Drinking helps. So do running and lifting weights until he can hardly stand. But none of it can change the fact that he’s gay, a secret he has kept from everyone.

Rafael Guerrera has found ways to live with the past he’s ashamed of. He’s dedicated his life to social justice work and to helping youth who, like him, had very little growing up. He has no time for love. Hell, he barely has time for himself. Somehow, everything about miserable, self-destructive Colin cries out to him. But down that path lie the troubles Rafe has worked so hard to leave behind. And as their relationship intensifies, Rafe and Colin are forced to dredge up secrets that both men would prefer stay buried.

Review:
I’m really torn about how to review this book. Because it’s good, well written and such, but it’s one of those books that makes me realize I might not be a very good person, at least not very forgiving. And I can’t say I enjoyed a lot of it.

Here’s the thing for me, Colin spent a decade and a half (if not more) actively seeking to destroy one person’s life. He was cruel at every single turn, unremittingly horrible and inspired others around him to be the same, such that his brother had no safe place and certainly no family support where it very likely could have existed otherwise. (If nothing else, he could have been a support and likely Brian would have followed and Sam didn’t seem to care enough to be hostile.) He made several people around him miserable. I’m honestly surprised they survived him and his rancor.

And yes, this book gave me his pitiful, self-hating history. I understood the horrible mental place he was in personally. I understood why he stayed in the closet, why he hated himself, why he was unhappy. I even academically understood why he lashed out against his brother the way he did. But none of that changed the fact that for 15+ years he made someone else’s life hell, purposefully targeted someone he deemed weaker than himself and beat him literally and figuratively. And no pat little, “I”m sorry, I want be happy now” made that go away for me.

As far as I was concerned, he didn’t deserve Daniel’s forgiveness, let alone his instant forgiveness and that poisoned his happily ever after as far as I’m concerned. No amount of “I was miserably too” makes the history between him and Daniel, and by extension Brian, ok in my mind.

It’s a purely emotional response. And it’s not even a fair one. Because I know in real life there are probably a lot of men out there in positions similar to Colin’s, living with an anchor-weights worth of internalized homophobia and trapped in family circumstances that make them feel like they have no options. And a lot of them are probably angry, or masking hurt with anger. And I’ll admit, Parrish wrote the perfect partner for Colin. I can’t imagine anyone else being able to look past what a frankly horrible person he was and see anything redeemable. Honestly, I don’t think I did, even given Rafe’s view of him.

And that’s the thing. As readers of this story, we’re supposed to see a kernel of something better in Colin. But sorry, you are your actions once you’ve spent 15 years solidifying your position at the expense of someone else, and I couldn’t find what was supposed to redeem Colin. I just couldn’t.

Might he be something better from the end of the book forward? Sure. But I simply can’t relate to the person who suffered forgiving and accepting him with open arms. Where exactly was his act of redemption? What did he do to deserve Daniel’s forgiveness? Nothing as far as I could see.

And I know someone shouldn’t have to earn forgiveness. That’s not the way it’s supposed to work; it has to be given. But I suppose that just makes Daniel a better person than me for being willing to offer himself up, but I felt no satisfaction in their reconnection.

I see where Parrish was going with this. What she was trying to accomplish and I know a lot of people really enjoyed it. But the end of the book found me just as angry, if not more angry for Daniel than when I finished the first book. And I know the book really does explore some important things, like the isolating effects of staying in the closet, the harm homophobic parents can do, the importance of peer support, the long-lasting and unfair effects of a prison stint, the damage we do each-other by not teaching people (men especially) communication skills, etc. I can appreciate these aspects of this difficult coming out story, but my emotional reaction to it is such that I found I couldn’t truly enjoy it.

On other matters, I liked that the characters were in their late thirties, though they often felt much younger to me. I liked that one of them was Latino. I couldn’t with all the media references though. I hate that a means to describe a characters. Can you imagine reading this book and trying to guess what the characters look like if you haven’t watched television in over 5 years and have only seen maybe 3 movies in that time? Frustrating! And what was up with the random breath-play?

All in all, I like Parrish’s writing. I have book 3 that I’ll be reading (well, listening to) and I’ll certainly pick up other books. But apparently I’m not a forgiving enough person for this one. I just feel indignant, righteously or otherwise. Sorry.