Tag Archives: vampire

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Book Review of Seth Grahame-Smith’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Sometime last year I won a copy of Seth Grahame-Smith’s  Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter from CuriosityKilledThebookworm.

Description from Goodreads:
Indiana, 1818. Moonlight falls through the dense woods that surround a one-room cabin, where a nine-year-old Abraham Lincoln kneels at his suffering mother’s bedside. She’s been stricken with something the old-timers call “Milk Sickness.”

“My baby boy…” she whispers before dying.

Only later will the grieving Abe learn that his mother’s fatal affliction was actually the work of a vampire.

When the truth becomes known to young Lincoln, he writes in his journal, “henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose…” Gifted with his legendary height, strength, and skill with an ax, Abe sets out on a path of vengeance that will lead him all the way to the White House.

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for saving a Union and freeing millions of slaves, his valiant fight against the forces of the undead has remained in the shadows for hundreds of years. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Secret Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Using the journal as his guide and writing in the grand biographical style of Doris Kearns Goodwin and David McCullough, Seth has reconstructed the true life story of our greatest president for the first time-all while revealing the hidden history behind the Civil War and uncovering the role vampires played in the birth, growth, and near-death of our nation.

Review:
I have to confess. This book was significantly better, or more serious, than I expected. I really thought it was just going to be a silly gore-fest. It wasn’t at all. It was an artful blending of history and fiction. I wish I had enjoyed it more. It is written as a retelling of Abe’s life after someone studies his personal diaries, interviews people, etc. I had a really hard time engaging in this narrative style. I’m not suggesting it was done anything but masterfully. In fact the book is quite well written (though I didn’t think the pictures contributed anything). I just couldn’t loose myself in it, I’m sorry to say.

I did feel incredibly sorry for Abe and his losses, could appreciate the position he found himself in and enjoyed his tenuous relationship with Henry. However, I absolutely cannot accept Henry’s final decision concerning Abe and can’t believe Abe would have accepted it. I thought that last little tidbit was a a complete cop-out on the authors part. Don’t get me wrong, it was pretty predictable, but I could have done without. I also would have liked to know a bit more about Mr. Smith. I liked him in the beginning, but he never resurfaced.

I’m glad to have read it, but I’m also a little happy to be finished. If you know what I mean.

A Blood Seduction

Book Review of A Blood Seduction, by Pamela Palmer

A Blood Seduction

I downloaded Pamela Palmer‘s A Blood Seduction from the Amazon KDP list. At the time of posting it was still free. (Plus, if you follow the link to her website you’ll find a contest to win a signed copy.)

Description from Goodreads:
Take me down to Vampire City…

Vampires live only for lust and pleasure in the eternal twilight of Vamp City. But the city’s magic is dying. The only person who can restore it? A beautiful woman from the mortal world…one who knows nothing of the power she wields.

Quinn Lennox is searching for a missing friend when she stumbles into a dark otherworld that only she can see—and finds herself at the mercy of Arturo Mazza, a dangerously handsome vampire whose wicked kiss will save her, enslave her, bewitch her, and betray her. What Arturo can’t do is forget about her—any more than Quinn can control her own feelings for him. Neither one can let desire get in the way of their mission—his to save his people, hers to save herself. But there is no escape from desire in a city built for seduction, where passion flows hot and blood-red.

Welcome to Vamp City…

Review:

I’ve had this book on my Goodreads wish-to-read list for a while because it’s raved about and tops quite a few Must-Read listopia lists. So, when I saw it come up on the KDP free list I grabbed it. Honestly, I’m not seeing what everyone loves so much.

It’s like one long, protracted rape scene. It felt like every vampire and trader in Vamp City must be walking around with a hard-on all day, constantly on the lookout for any female that they are somehow obligated to assault on sight. Seriously, I don’t think the book goes 5 pages without someone being molested in some fashion. People are killed, tortured and raped endlessly in this book.But this seems to be a fate reserved solely for women. Are horrible, psychopathic vampires really so picky? The reader is forced to confront women being literally ripped apart, drained dry, burned, beaten, raped by a penis wrapped in a barbed sheath, as well as just raped en masse and on display, fondled, molested, humiliated and intimidated non-stop (and I mean that almost literally. It is the backdrop of the novel), but only one man was embarrassed because he had to show his bits in an auction and one man was hunted for sport. That’s pretty much the complete list of male victims in the book.

I know rape is a pretty common motivator in fiction. It’s also used fairly common to ensure the reader knows bad guys are really bad, but I just couldn’t take a whole society based on it. I found reading this book extremely uncomfortable, and I read for fun. This was not fun for me. 

Then there is Arturo and Quinn’s relationship. There is a constant back and forwards between them in which he says he ‘I want you’, she counters with ‘as a slave,’ he then counters her with ‘no, in my bed.’ Now this wouldn’t be so horrible except that she’s his slave either way. He owns her.  There is no indication that (or even social process by which) she could be anything but a slave in Vamp City. So, there’s a mixed emotional message being sent here. She’s supposed to somehow accept that his wanting to make her a sex slave, as opposed to say a scullery maid, is somehow better or even acceptable. Here’s a direct quote about his thoughts on the matter,”If only he could make her a simple slave and keep her, always, in his house. In his bed.” Yea, he’s not looking for a wife or an equal, just a slave. Lets also not forget that he’s not even offering exclusivity. She’d be one of 4.

Then there is the way this is all cloaked in the illusion of choice. She knows it’s and illusion, but she’s falling for it all the same. She has no power, no control and no other options. Personally, I’d rather call a spade a spade and get on with it. Yea, I’m so not getting what people love so much about this book.

A lesser disappointment, though still a disappointment, is Quinn’s reunion with Zack. He’s essentially her sole motivation. She spends 90% of the book trying to rescue him. Are we, the reader, given a heartfelt reunion? No. Just a ‘go away Quinn.’ Such a let down. Sadly though, having finished it I find myself left with a morbid desire to read the second just to see if it could possibly be as bad. How misguided it that?

I wish I used star ratings on this blog so I could give the book a one star…except I still probably wouldn’t. I really want to. I disliked it that much. But dislike it as I might the writing was still alright and it was still well edited enough to deserve better than a one star. That doesn’t make me feel better about it though. 

Book Review of Shevi Arnold’s Why My Love Life Sucks

Why My Life SucksAuthor, Shevi Arnold, sent me a copy of her novel Why My Life Sucks (The Legend of Gilbert the Fixer).

Description from Goodreads:
Gilbert Garfinkle is the ultimate tech geek. He has a compulsive need to take apart, figure out, and fix things; and he dreams of one day fixing the world. But a funny thing happens on the way to the future. Gilbert encounters the one thing he’ll never be able to figure out: a gorgeous, teenage vampire girl named Amber, who wants to turn Gilbert into her platonic BFF–literally forever! This leaves the ultimate geek pondering life’s ultimate question: “Why me?”

Review:
I have to admit to being caught completely off guard by this one. While I wasn’t expecting it to be bad or anything, otherwise why read it, I was expecting it to be really juvenile. (In he sense of written for younger readers, not written by a juvenile writer or someone with juvenile skill.) And while I have no doubt tweens could read and enjoy the book, as a 35 year old woman I did too.

Gilbert has a royal sense of humour that works really well as a narrator. He got quite a few laughs out of me. I also really liked him as a character. He is an über geek and comfortable with that. It’s a persona he cultivates and enjoys. It would be really hard not to like him. That pretty much made up for the fact that I so disliked Amber. She is well written and the author gave her just enough history to be forgivable. I think the reader was supposed to buy into the idea that she was so desperately in need of protection that her actions were excusable. But I didn’t like her. Personally I never was able to let go of her determined naivety and amazingly selfish behaviour and mindset—borderline narcissistic really. She made herself a sugar daddy (or maybe just a father) as far as I was concerned, though I’m fairly sure I wasn’t supposed to see it this way. I think it was supposed to appear preordained and therefor the ends would have justified the means. Bah!

I also quite enjoyed all of the geeky media references. There are a lot of them and some are quite subtle. I probably didn’t even catch all of them. I did think Gil’s genius and tech were a little over the top. Good for for comedic value but too advanced to be believable. I really look forward to the next in this series. There is definitely something hinky about Uncle Ian and the Liebermans. I have my guess and I can’t wait to see if I’m right.

On a side note: the cover does make sense after reading the book.