Category Archives: book review

Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice

Book Review of Adrianne Ambrose’s Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice

Confessions of a Virgin SacrificeI grabbed Adrianne Ambrose‘s Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice off of the KDP free list. At the time of posting it appears to still be free.

I occasionally comment on covers, usually just if I love or hate them. I don’t think I’ve ever made mention of the designer/artist, but this one is just too great to not comment on. It’s witty, funny, and the main reason I picked the book up in the first place. It was apparently done by Ted Naifeh. Well done, I say. Well done.

Description from Amazon:

Sound the alarm! Saddle the horses! Wake up the village elders! The Sacrificial Virgin has escaped!

Jezebelle’s voluptuous cousin Dizeray is slated for a sacrificial swan dive into the local volcano. Not if Jez can help it! She plots to rescue her cousin and find an eager candidate to ‘disqualify’ Diz from being this year’s Virgin Sacrifice. But things to horribly wrong and now the gals are on the run with the furious Village Elders in hot pursuit!

Jez sweeps her cousin on a whirlwind adventure through the jungle and beyond with nothing but her sardonic wit and bronze brassiere at her disposal. Along the way the two Glamazons attract a motley cast of characters including a brooding barbarian with a decidedly un-heroic phobia, an ill-tempered troll looking for love, and a deadly blue wolf with a soft spot for Jezebelle.

This unlikely troupe stumbles head first into one wacky adventure after another, encountering love, magic, monsters and mayhem. Throughout their travels, Jez untangles clues to her True Destiny. She discovers a Forbidden Secret that threatens to unravel the very fabric of her word–or at least ruin her day.

This saucy off-beat romp will keep you laughing as you follow Jez and her friends on their first adventure.

Review:

“I don’t believe in virgin sacrifice.  It encourages promiscuity at an early age.” How’s that for a first line? Great right? Or how about this one a few pages later? “Besides, she had large breasts, a trait frequently mistaken for beauty.” Yep, that one got a laugh out of me too. Confessions of a Virgin Sacrifice is not a book to be taken seriously. It is a rip-roaring good time, but utterly and completely absurd. The main character, Jezebelle, is a paragon of dauntless sarcasm, but her wit often highlights urbane truths. It’s a hoot. I lost track of how many passages I highlighted just because they were so funny. 

Be that as it may, she wasn’t my favourite aspect of the book. That would be Thor and Tul’s bemused side comments. I could easily imagine the bewildered look on their faces as they tried to figure out the actions of others. Priceless. 

I was thrown off on occasion by modern references. There I was reading along and  visualising the characters as Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonia types, maybe even Beast Master and then the author would throw in a Mason jar or a frilly lacy pillow. What!? I couldn’t quite reconcile their presence in the narrative. 

The book is quite short and ends on a cliffhanger, though I don’t know if another is planned. I almost hope one isn’t. I really enjoyed this book. It works, but I could see the joke getting old if drug out for too long. I’d hate to see that happen. It’s a gem just as it is. If you’re looking for a laugh give this one a try. That awesome parody on the cover ought to give you an idea of what you’d be in for. 

The Exile's Violin title

Book Review of R.S. Hunter’s The Exile’s Violin

The Exile's Violin coverAuthor, R.S. Hunter sent me an e-copy of his steampunk odyssey, The Exile’s Violin.

Description from Goodreads:
Why hire mercenaries to kill an innocent family just to obtain one little key? That question haunts Jacquie Renairre for six years as she hunts down the people responsible for murdering her parents.

Not even accepting an assignment to investigate a conspiracy that aims to start a war can keep her from searching for the key. Armed with her father’s guns and socialite Clay Baneport, she continues her quest for answers abroad.

With the world edging closer to disaster, Jacquie is running out of time to figure out how the war, the key, and ancient legend are intertwined. The fate of the world hinges on her ability to unravel both mysteries before it’s too late.

Review (with spoilers):
The first thing I want to say, before even addressing the story, is that I love, love, love, love, love the cover. It’s awesome. I thought the airships where largely made of metal instead of wood, but who cares. The cover rocks. The story was pretty good.

For me, the tag team comedy of Jacquie and Clay really made the book. In fact I would read the whole thing again just for Clay. His ability to blithely flaunt and disparage his wealthy upbringing at the same time was endearing and his obvious affection for the brash Jacquie admirable. There was no rushed romance here, but you just knew. I adored him.

While I greatly appreciated Jacquie’s strong backbone – no delicate, wilting heroines to be found here – I did wonder why there so often can’t be any sort of middle ground between a soft, genteel, mannered woman and a tactless, violent, loose cannon like Jacquie. This is something I’ve noticed before, not just here in Hunter’s book. It’s as if in order to emphasise how not useless a female character is (thereby suggesting that normally behaved women would be useless) they have to exaggerate their lack of female characteristics. They all HATE dresses, don’t wear makeup or make any effort to be pretty, eat more than would be expected in an ill-mannered fashion, speak roughly, and are quick to anger. This is more of a theoretical observation than any real complaint. I really liked Jacquie, foibles and all…or rather, most especially because of her foibles.

Where the book fell down was in logic. There were a few things worth mentioning in this vein. First, the book was staunchly linear. Once a challenge was surpassed it was never revisited. Example: After successfully stealing a pair of expensive artefacts from an important auction-house, in the company of a person whose face would be well known to the patrons and employees, not a single police officer, private detective, or even admonishing relative came to ask questions about it. Jacquie even spent the rest of the book carrying these items about, practically on display. Still, no fear of arrest for possession of stolen property or accusations of theft. It’s like some referee threw his arms out and declared the two of them “SAFE!” I don’t know. Maybe the law of their country says a person has to be caught in the act to be arrested. 

Second, the antagonist seems to purposely invite Jacque into his plans. Seriously, why bring himself to her attention at all? If he hadn’t employed her she wouldn’t have been traveling to all of the exotic places she did and wouldn’t have put the pieces together or figured his plan out. I never saw any purpose for this. Even plain old arrogance doesn’t cover it.

Lastly, Jacquie spends most of the book looking for her key. That’s it, she’s after information about a black key with broken teeth. I don’t care how extensive a library is or how talented the researcher, that isn’t enough information to differentiate it from any other key in the universe. She doesn’t even suggest drawing a picture of it to someone until ~60% through the book. Then there is the question of why Jacquie’s family had both the key and the alchemically altered guns in the first place. This isn’t really addressed at any point, making it feel like a convenient coincidence in the end (even if it wasn’t meant to be).

All-in-all I liked The Exile’s Violin, but really had to suspend a lot of disbelief to get into it. Mr. Hunter is a talented writer though. There were a few editorial mishaps (mostly missing particles), but the language flowed wonderfully and I don’t remember even one example of stiff dialogue. I’d have no trouble recommending the book.

Vampire Rule

Book Review of K.C. Blake’s Vampire Rule

I grabbed K.C. Blake’s Vampires Rule off of Amazon’s KDP recently, only to discover that I had already ‘purchased’ it from Smashwords at some point in the past. Guess the synopsis really appealed to me if I thought to download it twice. (Note: as I wrote this I noticed that it is currently free on both sites.)

Description from Goodreads:
They don’t call him Jackpot for nothing.

Jack has always beat the odds… at least until now. When he was attacked by a werewolf, vampires saved him. When he got tired of living the vampire life, another werewolf attack freed him, making him human again. Now Jack just wants to live a normal life, but what’s normal about a hunter girlfriend, a brother who wants to stake him to be on the safe side, and a head werewolf building an army to rule the world?

Review (with some spoilers):
I’m having a little trouble writing this review. Not because I don’t know what I want to say, but because I don’t want to write the exact same review 15 other people already have. The truth is, however, that just like a number of previous readers, I found the idea of this story fascinating but the execution lacking. Jack, Silver, and Jersey’s destiny was an interesting one, but there were a number of plot holes and a couple just curiosity holes. For example, they have to fight the head werewolf, so what about the head vampire that was created at the same time as him? He’s never mentioned. Surely he was important at some point.

I thought that the characters were a little flat and I greatly disliked the way that Silver was constantly treated as a child. She had trained her WHOLE life to be a werewolf hunter. Jack had just been introduced to the art. But everyone was willing to let him take the lead and all of the risks. Why? Was she really so weak? If so, how had she survived so long without him? I mean she’s part of the prophecy (or whatever) too. It smacked of paternalistic sexism…have to protect the precious, fragile female at all cost. Oh god, just gag me.

I did really appreciate Jersey Clifford in all of his poetry spewing badness. He felt like he had more depth than all of the other character combined. Cowboy and Lily had a lot of potential too. Similarly the interaction between Jack and his brother was thought provoking. Billy’s experience surely had to be the hardest of any other character. He deserves some credit.

It was hard to reconcile the ‘we have to save the world’ plot line with the ‘innocent love’ storyline. I suppose if I was 15 and didn’t know how much more life had to offer I might be able to relate to the importance of being a couple (holding hands, carrying her books, etc). But as an adult I found the whole thing too…too vanilla. Granted, I am an adult and this is a YA book (and I’d expect it to best appeal to the lower age brackets of the genre). But even if I could get excited about it, I have a hard time believing two people tasked with such a heavy destiny would stop in the middle of it to cuddle and declare their undying love. Not the time people.

My final and extremely inelegant say on the matter is that the book was alright and will likely appeal to Twilight‘s younger fan base.