I downloaded a copy of Tawn Krakowski‘s book, Darkling Drake from the Amazon freebie list.

Description from Goodreads:
Toni Drake is a loner with a knack for blending in and being nearly invisible to others even when standing right next to them. She turned this natural ability to her advantage by becoming a professional thief, but those talents, and her recent dreams, might be a sign that there is more to Toni than she ever thought possible.

Review: 
I really wanted to like this book, but it was not to be. The writing and I didn’t click (I’ll expand on that in a moment) and I found the main character, Toni Drake, incredibly unlikeable.

She is suicidally mouthy. I hate this in a character. There is a fine line between pleasantly sarcastic and just plain tourettes-level say anything that comes to mind, especially if it’s threatening and self aggrandizing. Once that line is crossed, a character becomes childish and unpleasant.

Drake definitely crossed the line. She just never stopped with her threats and snippy comments, even in the face of ridiculous odds. It’s also unrealistic. Like the time she looked at 8:1 odds (8 of them, 1 of her) and thought, ‘those aren’t good odds, I better go easy on them.’

Similarly, she’s instantly on the attack when she knows nothing of other dragons, their abilities, their politics, etc. Her confidence knew no bounds and lack of knowledge about her foe didn’t slow her down in the slightest. What? Really? It’s too damned much attitude.

The thing is that we’re never told how she became so badass in the first place. It’s just kind of intimated that it’s a natural ability that was helped along by growing up on the street. As such, I could readily believe that unknowingly being a dragon gave her a one-up on other humans and understand her confidence. But the events of the book pit her against other dragons that should be at least equal to her in natural ability and, though they may not have her street smarts, they have the upper hand in having experience with their dragon form from birth. Thus, Drake shouldn’t be able to maintain her über badass position. But it never falters, even when the reader needs it to waver at least a little bit to make her relatable.

What’s more, we were told that she was a fighter, but not a killer. Thus all her bluster about “I will kill you if…” became hollow. Again it made her feel childish, like a kid spouting off at the grown ups in the midst of a temper tantrum.

Now, Drake was a real take-charge kinda gal and I appreciate that. I love that she never sat aside and waited to be rescued, but it too was a bit much. Within moments of finding out she’s a dragon she starts giving orders and saving the day. You’d think she might need a little time to acclimate and that the person with her who’s known he was a dragon his whole life, knows their ways and what to expect, would be in charge for at least a little while.

Nope, Drake never even bat an eyelash. She took to shape shifting, flying, breathing fire, etc as if it’s nothing more unusual than having scrambled eggs for breakfast instead of fried eggs. How believable is that?

I know I’ve used the phrase repeatedly, but Drake is just too much, too much of everything. She’s made out to be the smartest, fastest, sneakiest, snarkiest, wittiest, sexiest, strongest, bravest, most capable in every context. Inexperience or lack of information be damned, even when others present should know more and be better suited for a task than Drake she still took over and saved the day.

Eventually, I stopped needing to read the actual book. I could just assume ‘Drake will have a master plan that will miraculously work, no matter how many coincidences it requires and all will be well.’ Meh.

Now, about the writing, I’ve encountered this before and have never come up with a way to say it that makes more sense. But the book is just too wordy. Here are some examples:

The other earth dragons, whom he had been forced to flee from with Toni, would never kill their own, no matter the transgression.

I finally decided that I had wasted enough precious time and stalked toward the back door leading to the roof.

Mumbling something into the gag that I had secured over his mouth last night before I turned in, he gazed at me with exhaustion and resignation in his eyes.

She absently tucked a loose strand of her lustrous dark tresses behind one sharply pointed ear, smoothed the wrinkles from her sleek, cerulean tunic, and began to speak, her voice low and smoky.

I gently placed the Book at my feet and ambled over to the papaya grove to collect the fallen fruit so that I would have something to placate my rebelling gut while I examined the tome’s pages.

After my last stop to fuel up with some artery-clogging, grease bombs some local fast food joint called “hamburgers,” I grabbed another vehicle from a nearby BMW dealership for a test drive and drove to my self-imposed rendezvous with my wayward foster father, Charlie.

It’s just too clunky to read smoothly. A lot of the book is like this. Part of the reason is that there are too many adjectives and adverb, both in the dialogue tags (which is largely discouraged in general) but also in the narrative itself, especially since it’s mostly a first person POV. Who says things like, “I called out playfully”  or “I grinned at him mischievously” about their own behaviour? It’s even more notable when one gets into seductively or menacingly. No one describes themselves this way.

There were also a lot of conveniences that cropped up. For example, when Drake wanted to swap cars so they weren’t followed, she found, not one, but three subsequent cars that the owners had left unlocked with the keys in them. Who does that? Similarly, when she needed a place to stay for a night, she happened across an empty rental. Or instructions on how to do something she doesn’t know how to do posted next to the computer she wants to use. As far as I know, being extraordinarily lucky wasn’t meant to be one of her dragon skills.

Then there were things that just didn’t make sense. Like how we’re told that dragons developed a talent for being seen as they want humans to see them. This suggests it’s an illusion. If that’s so, how come they physically transform? That’s no illusion. Plus, when they do transform into their giant dragon forms (where does all that extra mass come from, BTW) they fill rooms but don’t even displace furniture.

Often abilities come and go. Sometimes draconic characters seem able to communicate telepathically, other times they can’t. We’re told late in the book that male dragons aren’t taught to speak telepathically, but Christian does before that and more importantly it suggests that female dragons have to be taught the skill. Certainly, no one taught Drake.

Also, Drake makes a point of never trusting anyone, or caring for anyone or having any real connections. Despite this, someone who should know her better than anyone uses people as leverage to get what they want from her. If they know her so well, why would they think this would work?

Plus, the structure of the plot seems obvious sometimes. For example, at one point Drake storms out of the house for no discernible reason. She suddenly got uncomfortable and bolted. While gone her friends got kidnapped, requiring her to go rescue them and progressing the plot. Her providing the opportunity felt very convenient, almost as convenient as some of her almost miraculous leaps of logic. ‘Someone burned down this castle. As far as I know no one knows I’m a fire dragon, but they must be trying to frame me for it. Why else burn it down?’

Then there is the lack of description of the dragon forms. We’re told they have scales and their colors (Apparently Drake’s are onyx. I know this because it’s mentioned about 1,000 times) and that some have wings. That’s about it. At ~95% Drake mentions trying to impale someone on her horns and I went, “She has horns?” We’re never told what their structure is. This would have been important, especially since they talk in dragon form and I can’t figure out how what I imagine a dragon snout to look like manages that. And if they can talk in that form, how come they need telepathy?

Lastly, a little personally annoyance, the book is chocked full of sexual innuendo, literally from page one. Drake’s constant sexy thoughts (again, tourettes-like) got old fast. Not only because the redundancy of it but because after all the hint, hint, hints there isn’t ever any actual sex. So, what was the point?

If not for all that innuendo I’d suggest this book might be attractive to young readers. They probably wouldn’t cringe as much at Drake’s baseless crowing. Me it drove crazy and I’m glad to be done with her.