Tag Archives: lgbtq

The Nothingness of Ben

Book Review of The Nothingness of Ben, by Brad Boney

Before I begin, let me apologize for not updating recently. As I noted here, I've had houseguests and haven't gotten much reading done.

The Nothingness of BenI bought a copy of The Nothingness of Ben, by Brad Boney.

Description from Goodreads:
Ben Walsh is well on his way to becoming one of Manhattan’s top litigators, with a gorgeous boyfriend and friends on the A-list. His life is perfect until he gets a phone call that brings it all crashing down: a car accident takes his parents, and now he must return to Austin to raise three teenage brothers he barely knows. 

During the funeral, Ben meets Travis Atwood, the redneck neighbor with a huge heart. Their relationship initially runs hot and cold, from contentious to flirtatious, but when the weight of responsibility starts wearing on Ben, he turns to Travis, and the pressure shapes their friendship into something that feels a lot like love. Ben thinks he’s found a way to have his old life, his new life, and Travis too, but love isn’t always easy. Will he learn to recognize that sometimes the worst thing imaginable can lead him to the place he was meant to be?

Review:
There probably won’t be much to this review, but that very lack of detail is as strong a sign of my opinion of this book as a 500 word essay would be. While there was nothing particularly wrong with it, structurally or literarily, there was also nothing in it that particularly appealed to me. I read it to finish it, but that’s about it. At one point, I set it aside because I had houseguests and didn’t get to pick it up for several days. I had already all but forgotten it and it was an effort to make myself start it again.

Mostly, I strongly disliked the main character, Ben. I know he grew throughout the narrative, but I still never came to like him. There were also a number of personal pet peeves that cropped up. There were a lot of television references, for example. I HATE this. You see, I don’t own a television. I haven’t sat down and watched a single television show in years. So, all those witty TV quotes and comparisons to series characters, I don’t get them. My abhorrence of this isn’t just not being in on the joke though. What I hate is the assumption that everyone will be.

People also tended to have really idealized conversations that rubbed me the wrong way and struck me as incredibly unrealistic. The same could be said about the way Ben drew people into his family and then paraded them to all the rich and famous people’s homes. Everyone was just so bloody accepting and accommodating—a bunch of Pollyannas, one and all. In the end it just started feeling cheesy.

The dialogue also used names far, far, far too frequently for my tastes. And I thought the language in the sex scenes uncomfortable. Though, I will admit I thought the amount of play in the sex was appreciable.

So, all in all, this book was a fail for me. I basically just found it clumsy in a lot of general, ill-defined ways. But I’m sure it would work for others.

Sutphin Boulevard

Book Review of Sutphin Boulevard (Five Boroughs #1), by Santino Hassell

Sutphin BoulevardI bought an e-copy of Sutphin Boulevard, by Santino Hassell.

Description from Goodreads:
Michael Rodriguez and Nunzio Medici have been friends for two decades. From escaping their dysfunctional families in the working-class neighborhood of South Jamaica, Queens to teaching in one of the city’s most queer friendly schools in Brooklyn, the two men have shared everything. Or so they thought until a sweltering night of dancing leads to an unexpected encounter that forever changes their friendship.

Now, casual touches and lingering looks are packed with sexual tension, and Michael can’t forget the feel of his best friend’s hands on him. Once problems rear up at work and home, Michael finds himself seeking constant escape in the effortless intimacy and mind-blowing sex he has with Nunzio. But things don’t stay easy for long.

When Michael’s world begins to crumble in a sea of tragedy and complications, he knows he has to make a choice: find solace in a path of self-destruction or accept the love of the man who has been by his side for twenty years.

Review:
I was really nervous to pick this book up. In my little circle of the internet there has been a ton of hype about it and I’ve found myself disappointed more often than not with well-touted books. In this case, however, I’m thrilled to report that it lived up to its reputation. I basically loved it.

Something about it struck me as very real, as if a lot of it could be drawn from the author’s personal experiences. Of course, I have no idea if it can or has been. But that’s the beauty of fiction, a good writer can make you believe it is, even when it’s not.

Another reviewer said the relationships in this book were, “…so real in my experience of the gay community.” This isn’t something I can speak to, not being part of that community. But certainly, as basic human relationships, I found them very believable. But there were other parts of it, parts that were so disturbingly familiar to me that I found them difficult to read at times.

Example and true story: my grandmother kicked my mom out of the house at 13 and for several years, she (my mother) lived on the streets in NYC. I can only imagine what that was like and she pointedly doesn’t talk about it. But my mother is an amazing example of dragging herself up from nothing to be something—GED, college, nursing school, midwifery degree, FNP license, Functional Medicine license. She is basically amazing, as far as I’m concerned. And she hates her mother with the fiery passion you might expect given the circumstance.

But at the end of Gma’s life, when her husband/caretaker died and it was apparent that she was going to drink herself to death very quickly, my mother took her in. She converted a wing of her house, fed her, clothed her, monitored her vodka to keep her out of the hospital and didn’t allow the woman’s vitriol and accusations to drive her to violence. She swallowed her own distaste in order to do the right thing. And I saw so much of her and what it cost her emotionally to come home and take care of the woman who hadn’t bothered to do the same for her as a child in Michael’s situation with his father. Neither my grandmother, nor Michael’s father had earned the right to be taken care of by their children. But family, even shitty family, is family and sometimes it’s not about what someone objectively deserves. Michael’s whole home situation rang true to me.

Similarly, I have a friend who ended up in rehab in her early twenties. I remember watching her decline, visiting her on her visitation day, facing the forced cheer and thinly varnished desperation of the place and being shocked at the youthfulness of the group as a whole. Again, Michael’s experience felt recognizable.

But as much as I loved the realism of Michael’s situations (and Michael), it was Nunzio who sold the book for me. The way he wanted without ever showing his desire outright. The way he was always there, waiting to be noticed, all without ever really pushing or demanding anything significant. You could see it in almost every little move her made, but it was amazingly un-intrusive. I loved him for that. My heart broke for what the time passed must have cost him, but he didn’t play even a single ‘woe is me’ card. *Sigh* (I thought he was wonderful.)

Then there is the sex! I wouldn’t call this an erotic novel, though the sex is definitely erotic. It’s hot, really hot and there was plenty of it, but it’s there as part of the plot not as a distraction to it or in excess of it.

There were aspects of the book I didn’t like, but most of them come down to personal quibbles. For example, I’m not a fan of dirty talk during sex. Beforehand, sure, bring on the filthy suggestions. But any of the in flagrante delicto utterances always cheese me out. And my high school Spanish classes weren’t enough to carry me through some of Michael’s exclamations. I kept Google Translate open for the duration of the book.

All in all, however, I’m impressed. I’d read the first In the Company of Shadows, which Hassell wrote with Ais. So, I knew there was a good chance that the writing would be good, since it is in ICoS. But with partnerships, you never can be sure who’s done what. Hassell’s solo writing seems to be wonderfully readable too. Plus, there is notable diversity in the characters. That makes me do a little happy dance.

Side note: OMG, that cover!

Book Review: Trust the Focus & Focus on Me, by Megan Erickson

I bought a copy of Trust the Focus and Focus on Me (book 1 & 2 of the In Focus series), by Megan Erickson.


Trust the FocusDescription from Goodreads:
With his college graduation gown expertly pitched into the trash, Justin Akron is ready for the road trip he planned with his best friend Landry— and ready for one last summer of escape from his mother’s controlling grip. Climbing into the Winnebago his father left him, they set out across America in search of the sites his father had captured through the lens of his Nikon.

As an aspiring photographer, Justin can think of no better way to honor his father’s memory than to scatter his ashes at the sites he held sacred. And there’s no one Justin would rather share the experience with more than Landry.

But Justin knows he can’t escape forever. Eventually he’ll have to return home and join his mother’s Senate campaign. Nor can he escape the truth of who he is, and the fact that he’s in love with his out-and-proud travel companion.

Admitting what he wants could hurt his mother’s conservative political career. But with every click of his shutter and every sprinkle of ash, Justin can’t resist Landry’s pull. And when the truth comes into focus, neither is prepared for the secrets the other is hiding.

Review:
A sweet, if angsty, story that I generally enjoyed. I thought both Justin and Landry were fun characters to get to know and their romance felt real. (As did Justin’s difficult position.) I even enjoyed their tentative sex. I’m not generally one for ‘learner sex,’ but, again, I thought it was sweet.

I did get a little board with the ‘adventures,’ though I completely understood the purpose they served, I thought the blog posts felt a little gimmicky, and I thought that the ‘evil mother’ was a little cliché, especially given how easily her mind seemed to be changed in the end.

But my overall response to the book was, “Well, that was cute.” I’m looking forward to reading more of Erickson’s work.


Focus on meDescription from Goodreads:
Colin Hartman can now add college to his list of failures. On the coast-to-coast trek home from California, Colin stops at a gas station in the Nevada desert, and can’t help noticing the guy in tight jeans looking like he just stepped off a catwalk. When he realizes Catwalk is stranded, Colin offers a ride.

Riley only intended to take a short ride in Colin’s Jeep to the Grand Canyon. But one detour leads to another until they finally find themselves tumbling into bed together. However there are shadows in Riley’s eyes that hide a troubled past. And when those shadows threaten to bury the man whom Colin has fallen in love with, he vows to get Riley the help he needs. For once in his life, quitting isn’t an option…

Review:

Another sweet story from Megan Erickson. The writing was wonderful and I liked the characters, but this wasn’t really my style. I sometimes have an issue with encountering mentally ill characters in books. Now, I love diverse representation and mental illness is real and should be represented. I’m not saying it shouldn’t. Nor am I saying it should somehow be exempt from being usable material for fiction; or even that I won’t enjoy a book with mental illness as a theme. But sometimes, sometimes I feel like it shows up as a prop or that authors write books involving it so that they can be congratulated on their inclusive, acceptance of those living with mental illness rather than because they have a story to tell that happens to have a character with an illness.

I don’t know that Erickson was doing this. I’m not gonna go guessing her motives about writing it. But I know that as I read the book, as much as I like Colin and Riley (and I did, Colin especially), I thought Riley’s emotional collapse was so abrupt and Colin’s reaction to it so stubbornly solid that I was left wondering if I should be taking more from the enjoyment of the story or from the lesson on the importance of getting appropriate help. It wasn’t quite PSA level, but… Now, I did like that Erickson didn’t have love fix everyone’s problems. I appreciated that the men acknowledged that sometimes love really isn’t enough.

And this is probably just my issue, what I am conditioned to feel when reading books like this one. IDK. Because, like I said, it was well written and I did like the characters. I also liked how the book tied into the previous one, while still remaining a stand alone title (though, like the previous books and the blogs, I thought the emails felt gimmicky, even if it’s the only POV you get from Riley). I’ll definitely be reading more Erickson books.