Tag Archives: vampire

Cronin's Key

Book Review of Cronin’s Key (Cronin’s Key #1), by N.R. Walker

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25112503I bought a copy of Cronin’s Key, by N. R. Walker.

Description from Goodreads:
NYPD Detective Alec MacAidan has always been good with weird. After all, his life has been a string of the unexplainable. But when an injured man gives him cryptic clues, then turns to dust in front of him, Alec’s view on weird is changed forever.

Cronin, a vampire Elder, has spent the last thousand years waiting for Alec. He’d been told his fated one would be a man wielding a shield, but he didn’t expect him to be human, and he certainly didn’t expect that shield to be a police badge.

Both men, strong-willed and stubborn, are still learning how to cope with the push and pull of being fated, when fate throws them another curveball.

Rumors have spread quickly of turmoil in Egypt. Covens are fleeing with news of a vampire who has a talent like no other, hell-bent on unleashing the wrath of Death.

Alec and Cronin are thrown into a world of weird Alec cannot imagine. What he learned in school of ancient pharaohs and Egyptian gods was far from the truth. Instead, he finds out firsthand that history isn’t always what it seems.

Review: (Spoilerish):

A lot of people love this book and I can see that if you’re one of those readers who like watching Gary Stus moon over each-other and constantly vocalize how in love and in awe they are of one another, you would. I am not one of those readers. In fact, I’m one of those people who will put up with a couple, “You are my heart” comments, maybe even a couple “You are amazing” ones when the person has basically done nothing of consequence. But 300+ pages of it makes me nauseous. And that’s what this book is…mostly.

The first 30% is one solid info dump. You could maybe break it into several smaller info dumps, but basically nothing beyond info dumping happens. Then, the next 50% of the book is just people talking, cracking jokes (that fell flat for me), trying unsuccessfully to flirt, and being in awe of one another. The last 30% does have a little action in it, but it left me lost.

For one, the whole plot is that a crazy vampire is created with the ability to bring back embalmed vampires and she does, creating an army. She’s the only one who has ever been able to. No one has even ever heard of the skill. BUT how do you suppose Alec saves the day? He brings an embalmed vampire back to life. Um…how does that work?

Further, we’re told that part of what makes Cronin so dangerous is that he can just jump (transport) in anywhere and stake you before you know he’s there. He did it to a hundred or so vampires on his way to the bad guy. So…why didn’t he just do that to the villain? Further still, that villain is depicted as shocked when they arrive in her chambers. Why? Surely she knows some vampires can leap. So, why would she never consider the possibility of anyone doing so? And why do Alec, Cronin and crew bother fighting through hundreds of undead when they can just leap in? So. Many. Plot. Holes.

That villain was a ridiculous cardboard cutout. We’re told about her but she’s never given any depth. She manages to raise a whole undead army, but doesn’t apparently have the brains of a freakin’ fruit fly. Plus, she’s crazy and evil because she suffered a sexual assault that was never investigated. Really, women are so fragile they’ll condemn the whole world to slaughter to avenge two men? It’s such a cheap attempt at character development (and trust me when I say it was the ONLY one).

Worst of all is that, while I know Alec is said to be fine with the weird, because weird things have always happened to him, his blasé reaction to everything was more than my credulity could bear. I simply couldn’t suspend my disbelief that far. Same with his father; he just accepted everything, no biggy. (Plus, he was basically a useless character. He contributed nothing to the plot.)

Then there is the writing itself. It was passable and there weren’t too many typos, but it uses terms like “good vampire” and “bad vampire” seriously and that is just soooo cheesy. Plus, names, titles and endearments were occasionally used too often to be natural sounding.

Lastly, the sex was about as exciting as plain, non-fat yogurt. They put off sex until the end of the book, so there are a couple teaser type scenes that are about as erotic as turnips before the big event. But that big event…almost no foreplay or sexual tension and the men climaxed on entry! So, the whole thing lasts like two paragraphs. It felt very much like the author was uncomfortable writing sex scenes and then just fluffed them.

So, if you’re into vanilla vampires and Gary Stu love affairs you’ll probably enjoy this book. If you’re looking for action or mystery or romantic development, this is not the book for you (or me).

Edit: I’ve decided to add links when I get flack about my reviews. I usually have a pretty thick skin for this sort of thing. But this comment is actually from an author who I own several of her books and I’m now reluctant to read them. I mean, if she is this reactive about a review of someone else’s book, how might she react if I read hers and give it a poor review?

The Rogue Hunter

Book Review of The Rogue Hunter, by Lynsay Sands

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The Rogue HunterI picked up a used copy of The Rogue Hunter, by Lynsay Sands, at Goodwill.

Description from Goodreads:
Samantha Willan is a workaholic lawyer. She’s grateful for some rest and relaxation in cottage country, and after a recent breakup she wants to stay as far away from romance as possible. Then she meets her irresistible new neighbor. There’s something strange and mysterious about his eyes. Is it just her imagination, or are they locked on her neck?

Garrett Mortimer is a rogue hunter. His last assignment united Lucian Argeneau with his lifemate, and Mortimer is hoping this one will be less…adventurous. He’s here to track down a reported rogue, but fun in the sun is every bloodsucker’s nightmare. Worse, he can’t seem to get his mind off Samantha, especially when he spies her skinny-dipping in the lake. After eight hundred years as a bachelor, is he ready to turn a volatile attraction into a lasting love affair?

Review:
What nonsense did I just read? I mean really, what was this supposed to be? What it was was boring and basically a failure as both a PNR and a decent mystery.

Let me start with the fact that all of the characters are paper thin—no significant history, no real emotional depth, no obvious beliefs or thoughts outside of the immediate. In fact, for most of the book the side characters just went off by themselves and left the H & h alone. So, why bother with them?

There was also almost no world-building. What little there was, explaining vampires, came at about page 300! This is probably because the book is labeled as “The Rogue Hunter (Argeneau #10) (Rogue Hunter #1).” Someone tell me what that is supposed to mean. Is it the tenth Argeneau book or the first Rogue Hunter book? Because after reading it, I’m 100% certain it can’t be both.  While I could follow the plot, it was always painfully apparent I was missing something. The world-building, as stated, wasn’t there. Probably because it was in the 9 previous books. People were referenced that the reader didn’t know,  I strongly suspect Mort was a side character form another book, etc. So, as a 10th Argeneau book, it might have been successful (I don’t know as I read it as the first Rogue Hunter book), but as a first in a series, it’s a failure.

Now let me address the mystery around the rogue that Mortimer is supposed to be hunting. This investigation literally takes up about 20 pages of this 373-page book and then it’s solved with anti-climatic aplomb. Let’s be honest, Sands didn’t set out to write about a rogue vampire and the hunters who go after it. It is just the device used to get the two characters in the same place at the same time. Disappointing to the extreme. I’d have preferred the man to have just been on vacation and Sands not to even bothered with the half-assed attempt she made at pretending this book is anything other than a romance (which is pretty sad because the romance is pretty weak too).

The romance? CHEESY! There is the cliché immediate recognition of one’s life mate (that somehow turns the tough, broody Mort into a bumbling social throwback), the fragile female in need of assistance with, you know, walking, stupid antics to get around telling the truth, the convenient ability to change people’s mind if they ask inconvenient questions (thereby negating any possible narrative tension), and true immortal love and loyalty developing in a mere two weeks. What’s more, the whole book is essentially a tease. Over and over Sam and Mort almost have sex, but don’t quite manage it. Redundant…and PREDICTABLE!

This book is little more than a collection of weak PNR tropes, and none of them were executed particularly well. But worse than any of that, is the fact that I was bored for 373 pages. This sort of book is the epitome of why I refused to read romance for 30 years of my life. I’m in no hurry to read another Lynsay Sands book. How the heck does dreck like this get published over some of the great indies I’ve read?

Book Review of Conquered (Kivronian Vampires #1), by Sandy L. Rowland

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ConqueredAt some point, quite some time ago, I downloaded Sandy L. Rowland‘s book, Conquered, from the Amazon free list.

Description from Goodreads:
Claiming a mate on conquered Earth is driving alien vampire, Rafe, insane…literally.

He’s lost his comrade to madness and has sworn against suffering the same fate. Time is out for the ruler of the western quadrant and any female will do.

Spunky reporter, Pepper Morgan, has lost friends, her mother, and a fiance to the devastating plague that ravished Earth before the vampires subjugated them. Desperate to reunite with her captured father, she throws herself on Rafe’s mercy.

Now, Rafe and Pepper find themselves bound by more than desperation and blood, but also by secrets that have the power to enslave humanity and threaten vampire survival. Can they overcome their inner demons and learn to trust each other, before it’s too late?

Review:     **spoiler warning**
We are not amused.

While the mechanical writing and editing in this book were fine, I found almost all aspects of the story, plot, characters and world disappointing. First, we had a Mary Sue who is chosen to mate the über sexy vampire because she was different, a special little snowflake unlike all the other vapid, beautiful women. Arghh, so cliché.

Next, we had a woman who in two weeks goes from not liking the vampire who is consistently an ass to her, to being in love. Then we had her developing a special power out of nowhere and somehow learning to use it in almost no time at all. We had baddies who conveniently leave doors unlocked and chains removed to allow for escape and miraculous recoveries. Not to mention, most of the events in the book came down to avoidable miscommunication or lack of communication. None of this is good, as far as I’m concerned.

But worst of all, the whole premise of the book made no sense to me. Somehow her love was going to keep him from going insane, because at a thousand years old vampires go crazy if he’s not mated. But first they had to be betrothed for exactly a month and if they had sex before that they’d both go crazy. Um, exactly what biological mechanism was keeping track of time and how exactly did his body know she loved him? I mean, what was causing this change. I get the theme, but it made no sense.

Speaking of biology, how exactly does an alien race evolve to need human blood to survive? I mean, what did they do before they came to earth? Seems like that would be an important piece of world-building, but it’s not addressed.

I probably could have just suspended my disbelief and rolled with it if I hadn’t found the style so infuriating. It’s repetitive, the reader is told the same things over and over, and it’s almost all exposition, internal thoughts and mental planning. This means that very, very little actually happened in the book, because the action is CONSTANTLY being stopped for the narrator to explain what the characters are thinking or feeling or planning to do. It really felt like one small step forward, stop and explain, one small step forward, stop and explain, one small step forward, <i>ad infinitum</i>. If you break it all down almost nothing actually happening in this book and what action there is is all in the last 10%.

That last 10% also introduced a new character and the idea that vampires could be made as well as born, which hadn’t been mentioned once the whole book. I mean, if you can make vampire, why is there the chronic lack of females? Why not just make some? This is an unaddressed issue or inconsistency. As is, for example, the fact that somehow the baddie never faced insanity if he didn’t wait the required 30 days before raping his bride.

All in all, it’s an interesting idea, but poorly executed. The author spent far too much time telling us things we should have been shown. There are also a lot of threads left open, I assume for a sequel.