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Dark Indiscretions

Book Review of Dark Indiscretions (Dark Indiscretions #1), by Shakuita Johnson

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Dark IndiscretionsI downloaded a copy of Dark Indiscretions, by Shakuita Johnson, from the Amazon free list. 

Description from Goodreads:
What happens when your whole family is scarier than any nightmare and you have no desire to be anything like them? Do you stay and go along with the family plans or do you rebel and have them possibly turn their viciousness on you?

Jennifer Johnston experiences first hand why whispers are spoken in the dark about her species’ being evil when she was just a century old. What should have been another family dinner spent arguing over why she didn’t want to keep the bloodlines “pure” by being married off to her older brother turned into a nightmare and left her with more than tortured memories.

Jackson Dawls and Taylor Durham had been pack mates, best friends, and the other’s mate for as long as they could remember. They were a deadly species all their own but even they feared the Mystics and their overly cruel and barbaric ways, but unforeseen circumstances bring them face to face with not one but a few. Will there lives be in danger or is something great and unexpected awaiting them?

They also have to stay under the radar of the human society that is set out to destroy those they believe to be “Tarnished” and a danger to mankind.

When the three meet long ago secrets are brought to the light. Secrets no one but Jennifer knew. Not only do they have to learn to get along with each other because they are fated, someone is also stalking Jennifer and preforming sinister acts without her being any the wiser.

Jennifer must seek guidance from old acquaintances and form alliances with those she never thought she would. She is met with riddles and startling revelations that she never would have imagined possible.

Will they accept their fates and work together or will old fears destroy their lives? Will Jennifer be able to reclaim what was taken from her right from under her nose?

Review:
Years ago, when my husband and I were young and had time for such things, we used to enjoy something called Good Wine/Bad Movie night. It was exactly as the name implies. We would take turns picking out a good bottle of wine and a bad movie. The idea being the better the wine was, the worse the movie could be. We had a lot of fun on such nights. You couldn’t take the drack we were watching seriously (serious B grade sci-fi was a favourite), but when paired with high quality alcohol you would have been laughing at it too. It was fun.

If Dark Indiscretions was a movie, it would have been a prime contender to pair with an excellent Côtes de Bordeaux. It’s bad. I mean, really bad. I wish I used star ratings here so that I could say that the only reason I’m not giving this a one star is because it’s so bad it trips over into the ‘so super-bad it’s funny’ category and since I’m the sort who enjoys staying awake to watch the cheesy late-night fantasy fair I actually got a kick out of this.

I cringed at the writing. The dialogue just about killed me. The plotting was a disaster. The editing was MIA. The character development was nonexistent. The sex was brutally blunt, brusque even. The POVs and tenses were erratic at best. But it was like a train wreck I just couldn’t look away from. Not once did I consider putting it down and not finishing it. I was too busy being amused at it’s horridness.

I highlighted a number of examples that I had intended to include here, but I think at this point it might just seem cruel. Instead, I’ll link to my Amazon highlights. And despite my assertion that the book is a rolling disaster, I’d still recommend it to people like me who enjoy a good cheese-fest on occasion, maybe a little WTFery thrown in on the side. This is the book for you.

Please excuse the mess

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I’ve just changed hosts (since Names.co.uk hit me with a $600.00+ bill because their overage charge is apparently 20x the normal fee (literally) and last year I got hit by a bot that forced me over the limit, plus their customer service sucks big rotten eggs) and it will take me a while to clean everything up. 

In the mean time, you’ll notice odd formatting, sample pages, no pictures, lost posts, broken links, etc. I’m working to put it all back in order, so bear with me please. 

 

Find Big Fat Fanny Fast

Book Review of Find Big Fat Fanny Fast, by Joseph Bruno

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Find Big Fat Fanny FastI picked Find Big Fat Fanny Fast, by Joseph Bruno off of the KDP free list.

Description from Goodreads:
Since the start of the 20th Century, the Italians and Chinese in the Little Italy/Chinatown area in New York City have endured an uneasy truce. In the first three quarters of the century, the Italians ruled the neighborhood with an iron fist. But starting in the 1970’s, the dynamics began to change, as more Italians moved out and droves of Chinese began flowing into Chinatown from China. This did not bode well for Italian mob boss Tony Bentimova (Tony B), so he enlisted the help of his most trusted killer, Big Fat Fanny Fanelli, all six foot six inches and six hundred and sixty pounds of her, to ensure the Italians maintained control of all the illegal rackets in Little Italy, which was slowly, but surely being transformed into Chinatown.

Review:
I’m not sure exactly what I just read. I suppose it was a satire of some sort. And I suppose as a spoof it was pretty funny. But I have to admit it left me scratching my head a bit. For example, though there is a character called Big Fat Fanny Faneli, she isn’t by any means a main character. She shows up in chapter one, then the book jumps back tree generations and the next 45% of the book is dedicated to history. Fanny shows up again in the latter 1/3 of the book, but is still on the sidelines. So, other than sounding snazzy, why is she the title character?

I’m not just being snippy here. It’s a legitimate question. I’m not entirely sure I was able to pick out the point of the events that occurred, i.e. the plot. I’m not claiming it didn’t have one. It did. But just like the title of the book is focused on an insignificant character, the events leading up to the culmination of the novel seemed less than focused. Amusing, worth reading, but scattered and a little too far reaching.

Again, I do have to admit the book is funny. There is a lot of irony in it and anyone who enjoys mob stories would recognise the themes here, purposefully exaggerated as they may be. So for a fun, fast read it’s worth picking up…as long as you aren’t easily offended. I don’t think there is a group or race that isn’t insulted here. At least it is equally spread, so at no point does it feel as if any one grouping is being targeting for racist commentary, but there is no shortage of it.

Lastly, it had a perfectly good ending in place. It had wrapped up nicely and everything. Then it had to ruin it by going and tagging on a cliffhanger for book two. Grr. Still, the few hours it took me to read the book weren’t wasted.