Tag Archives: erotica

Book Review of Bacchus (Phantom Warriors #1), by Jordan Summers

I grabbed a copy of Jordan Summers‘ erotic sci-fi novel, Bacchus, from the Amazon free list. At the time of posting, it was still free.

Description from Goodreads:
Bacchus is a desperate Phantom warrior. Saddled with the quest to find a sexually compatible female race for his people, he stows away on a ship bound for planet Earth. There he discovers a world teeming with women, but there’s only one way to determine if any of them are a biological match. He must pick one and mate with her. Sex sounds easy enough or it would be, if Bacchus weren’t from the Blood Clan. Where on Earth can he find a woman who doesn’t freak out at the sight of three-inch fangs?

Dog breeder Carrie Rittner has had a rough year. Between a broken engagement and her emotionally distant brother, Buzz, she’s ready to throw in the towel. The last thing she needs is a sexy ‘psychiatrist’ trying to charm her pants off.

It’ll take more than Bacchus’ chemically charged pheromones, dominant nature and forked tongue to convince Carrie that they’re made for each other. He will have to release all his animal instincts and give her the ultimate love bite.

Review:
Ah man, it took me forever to choose a book to read. Nothing struck my fancy. I’d had a hum-dinger of a day and was feeling the lingering after-effects of a torrential crying jag. I was emotionally wrung out, both physically and psychologically—the puffy eyes, the sniffly nose, the hollow, washed out sensation left in the wake of the intense flood of adrenaline (or whatever) that drives an angry, hurt, psychic upheaval.

This is where I was when I tried to pick out a book to read and nothing seemed to appeal. I finally settled on this one because it looked ridiculous enough to drag a chuckle out of me and, failing that, maybe a little hot sex would improve my mood. (Certainly, it would have in real life, if only hubs hadn’t been the focal point of the problem in the first place.) It should be noted, of course, that I didn’t go in expecting serious and high brow literature, which is good because I sure didn’t get it.

Even starting this book with no more expectations than to get to laugh at the always pleasantly cheesy ‘Mars Needs Women’ trope I wasn’t satisfied with this read. Ok, yes, it had all the elements and some of them were presented in such a flat way as to be funny. (You know, like when someone says something patently ludicrous with a straight face.) But there was just no depth to anything in this book. And, again, I’m saying that even having opened it not expecting much.

For example, and this is a bit of a spoiler, so be warned: Bacchus arrives on a ship bound for earth (so his planet already has access to earth, so no idea why he’s the first to mate an earth women and why he has to sneak to do it), he randomly chooses a man on the beach to absorb his memories so he can understand earth customs. He then falls in love with the memories of this random man’s sister. He then goes to her house, looks in the window and falls into insta-mating-lust, he meets her and within about 2-3 hours they’re in bed, he’s imprinted his DNA into her and they’re off to his home world. Once there, since she was a herpetologist on earth she was able to immediately become the clan healer.

Seriously, on a planet of 7+ billion people (assuming there hasn’t been a population increase) and a galaxy of who knows how many he meets his destined, biological mate through the first human he interacts with! And, am really to believe that space fairing, blood-dependent, bipedal, humanoid aliens with minor snake-like characteristics are actually closer to reptile than human and there are so few differences that no one on their original home-world was better suited to fill the healer role than a non-practicing earth herpetologist? WTF?

So I didn’t get any fun searching for his mate scenes or getting to know that mate ones either. Just BAM, there she is. And the mating included as transfer of memories, so no need to get to know one another either.

Sex was just as abortive. His pheromones made her pliant and aroused, so no need for for-play (despite his massive cock, apparently). It was basically, stick it in and slam it home, BAM, we’re done here.

Then there were all the just plain creepy things that happen. He spies on her through her windows, then slips into her house and watches her undress and shower. Creeeeepeer. Then he used his pheromones to make her willing, remaining just this side of dub-con based on his intent and wish to have her come willingly. And come on, getting aroused over watching two dogs mate is just weird.

So, I was looking for a fun, cheesy, erotic sci-fi romp. This had the cheese, but failed on just about every other front. Writing was passable; editing could use a little work.

Book Review of (Watch Me) Break You (Run This Town #1), by Avril Ashton

I bought a copy of Avril Ashton‘s (Watch Me) Break You.

Description from Goodreads:
Here comes trouble…

Men. Women. Drugs. Dima Zhirkov’s favorite things. Add in the element of danger and he should be right as rain. But not today. It’s not working, hasn’t for a long time. He’s grasping at the flimsiest of straws to prove he’s indeed strong enough to run his streets. Until he sets eyes on him. In the midst of a room full of strangers, Dima is drawn to a man as cold and dangerous as he’s beautiful. Captivated, Dima embarks on a ruthless campaign to get his new toy into bed.

Here comes the danger…

Xavier “X” Storm is content to pull the strings while someone else handles the day to day dealings of his gang, The Rude Boys. He’s after what Dima holds closest—the Coney Island streets. He contracts out the job of killing the Russian, except Dima isn’t that easy to kill. When he suddenly shows up in X’s path, tempting him to indulge in the dirtiest play, he finds Dima isn’t all that easy to shake, either. His cocky attitude and rough submission tempts X to go where he’d vowed to never return, and they plunge head first into an affair fueled by possessive obsession.

Run for cover

Sex and pain Dima can handle, and X delivers the most depraved kind. Their connection is explosive, their games addictive, but Dima can end it whenever he wishes. He doesn’t see that X is breaking him down, giving Dima everything he wants and even more than he ever thought to need. By the time he realizes who X is and what he wants, Dima is raw and bullet riddled. It’s run or fight. And Dima doesn’t back down. Neither does X.

Review:
This book has great reviews, but I’m just not seeing the appeal. The whole thing felt like one long, sustained and unwavering note. It got a little old.

The book is primarily sex. I knew that going in, so no complaints. But it seemed to be on repeat. I’m not sure if X and Rush had a lot of sex or if I just read the same sex scene 5 times. The plot was weak and for two men running large criminal organizations, they seemed to do very little actual work.

I hate to say it, but Rush was written as a woman. Really. He cried all the time, was described as needy and sexually hungry (all at the same time). He often fainted when he climaxed. X joked about knocking him up and told him how much he liked seeing him in his kitchen. Not to mention Rush was always on the receiving end in bed.

It would have taken little more than a change in pronouns for him to be female and other than the fact that it’s unlikely a woman would have headed part of the Russian mob, a female would have fit the descriptions better. It would have been a Glen Close, boil the bunny type woman for sure, but still would have fit the character.

I also have to address the whole “safe word” thing. Yes, I understand that in real life BDSM safe words are important. In the same way that if you plan on having anonymous sex you need to use a condom. I get that. But if erotic authors religiously ensure to point out the partners stopping and rolling one on, it breaks the fantasy. The book risks feeling like an object lesson instead of a fun sexual romp.

Safe words here played the same role. X and Rush spent the beginning of the book enacting real violence, waving guns and throwing threats. But the second anything drifted toward sex, X would stop to ensure Rush remembered his safe word. What?

When faced with such complete violently erotic abandon as the rest of the book exemplified, the use of said safe word struck a false and out of place note. It broke the narrative and reminded the reader that there was an author somewhere who stopped at her keyboard and thought, “oh, I better use safe words or real BDSMers will call me out for being unsafe.” Hello, they’re already being unsafe—Rush let X choke him unconscious their second time together. Why bother?

My biggest issue however, was that once Rush had elbowed his way into X’s life the whole rest of the book was just a broken record of “I love you,” “I need you.” “Stay with me.” In the last half of the book “love” was used 36 times. I get that the author was ensuring that the reader understood the depth of emotion these men felt (even though the whole book occurs in maybe a week), but it was too much. I felt beat over the head with it and eventually wanted to gag on it.

Generally, I love some broken men. I love crazy violent pairings. But this was too much of a good thing, with not enough of anything else to balance the cray-cray.

The writing itself was fine and I liked finding people of color as main characters for a change. The editing could have used a little more attention, though. All in all, I think this one just wasn’t for me.

Book Review of Bound By Blood (Soul Mates #1), by Jourdan Lane

It’s day three of my personal Bound By Blood challenge, where I set out to read five books titled Bound By Blood. Today’s fare was Jourdan Lane‘s Bound By Blood.

Description from Goodreads:
Houston nightclub Rave is famous for nearly-naked male dancers and beautiful bartenders. Like Peter, a young man with a strict rule about one-night stands with locals. He breaks that rule for Lucien, the owner of The Den, a rival nightclub where there are no boundaries, no taboos. Only he doesn’t realize just who Lucien is when he does. When Peter finds out that the man he wants to get to know even more is a vampire, he figures he should have stuck to that rule. He’s not fan of vampires or most other creatures of the night, but Lucien is relentless in his seduction. Peter resists Lucien as long as he can, but when he gives in, he does it in a big way, falling headfirst in to the dark, violent world of vampires, werewolves, and other creatures he’s only read about.

Peter and Lucien begin a very dangerous dance of sensual heat and deep emotion, one that causes them nothing but trouble. No one approves of the human and vampire match, including those in Lucien’s Coven, old enemies, and even older friends. Peter and Lucien have to struggle to stay together and protect those they love. Can they beat the forces that will try to tear them apart forever? And can they face what will become of Peter if they stay together?

Review:
The first thing anyone needs to know about this book is that it’s porn with plot. It’s a weak plot to be fair, but there is a little plotting. There is also lots and lots and lots and lots of sex. There is so much sex that about half way through this book, even suspending as much disbelief as one has to to read vampire/werewolf themed erotica, I started to cringe on behalf of the characters. Seriously, there couldn’t have had any skin left between them. I had sympathy friction burns and could only see them as rubbed absolutely raw. Raw, I tell you!

It’s fun sex though. It’s all consensual. It’s all of the ‘let me show you how much I love you’ sort, even when it’s not monogamous. And it’s not. The end of this book is essentially a series of orgies, with no indication that these men mean this situation to change. But it is sweet in its own way.

I did find the first third or so of the book clunky. Characters had complete 180° attitude shifts with no indication of an impetus of change. At one point, a man went from terrified of all things vampire to unafraid and half in love/lust with one in the course of a paragraph and I still have no idea why (other than he had to for the plot to progress). Meanwhile, his best friend went from encouraging him to get over his vampire-phobia to adamantly insisting he have nothing to do with the vampire, with no apparent reason to change his mind

The events of the story also moved from one to another, covering months at a time and glossing over the actual falling in love aspect of the romance with no transitions. It was jarring and I started to fear the book was heading toward a DNF. But once the characters accepted each-other things smoothed out. However, as they accepted each-other and Peter moved farther and farther into Lucien’s world their personalities changed drastically. They felt inconsistent.

Despite all that, the writing is really good and if you’re looking for some basic fap matter (or whatever the female equivalent is, schlick I think) this will do the trick.